It's funny...

"But on the bottom of that I don't want to see 'Webber is a pussy with safety'. I like taking risks, and I'm up for the challenge, but we need to always find a balance. And we will learn."

The above is a good Mark Webber quote about whatever it is that the two Red Bull drivers don't like about the current safety situation. Anybody that calls any F1 driver a pussy is a jerk cos even the pussiest of drivers still have a pretty big pair on them I would imagine.

Nothing is still happening

I'm itching for F1 to get going again. I'm glad the FIA has officially declared Spygate drama closed, since that shit was depressing on a variety of levels. However, now that that garbage has been put to bed nothing at all has been happening and I'm getting to the point where soon enough I'll be popping in old VHS tapes from seasons past just to get my fix. Speaking of which, If anybody out there has any old broadcasts from 2002 and before, hit me up.

Turdsy in a semi familiar toilet...

There are reports that Giancarlo Fisichella has signed with Force India. Nothing is confirmed, but that's what a few web sites are claiming. I don't see why it couldn't be true. If it is, he's essentially back at his old home of Jordan where he won his first race. Who knows how many Jordan guys are still there considering the team has changed hands like 3 times since he was last there, but in theory, he's back in a familiar back marker team.

As Grand Prix Dot Com pointed out, it's a real pisser that Tonio Liuzzi didn't get the drive (if these reports are in fact true) considering he is much younger and has more to offer. I'm with Bernard Ecclestone in the thought that Turdsy Fisi should just pack it in like old Ralf Schumacher. I've already detailed my reasoning for this in past entries, so there is no reason to say it all again other than Fisichella is a general disappointment... and old.

Trading Places

So McLaren signed the giant headed wonder Heikki Kovalainen to partner Lew Hamilton next year. I am glad about this since I feel that Kovalainen is a solid race driver and it would have been criminal if he did not have a seat in F1 next year. We all know Hamilton is going to do better and the fight between teammates on the track isn't going to be as close as was the case with Alonso and Hamilton this year, but I have a feeling Heikki will hold his own and not be made to look like a total fool by Lewis.

Conversley, I still have my reservations about the Alonso/Piquet line up at Renault for 2008, but we will see.

In the end I find it amusing that Alonso went from McLaren back to Renault, and that Heikki whom filled Alonso's vacant Renault seat this year is now filling Alonso's vacant McLaren seat next year.

Maybe we should call Kovalainen "Shitty Alonso"?

Michael Schumacher, you fucking rule!

Plenty of times you'll catch a story about an F1 driver getting a speeding ticket, or his license revoked for a long time in a certain country. Sure, makes sense. Not too surprising. However, Schumi is a man with style and awesomeness. I was just getting ready to go to bed when I saw on the front page of Yahoo! US a picture of Schumacher. At first I was worried, since you almost NEVER see any F1 related news on the main USA Yahoo! web page, so I was thinking my main man had died or something horrid. Then I read the story and just cracked the hell up.

You gotta love that due to the fact that he was running late he commandeered the cab to get to the family to the airport on time. That's pretty much the coolest thing I think Schumacher could ever do, other than come back to F1!

I tip my hat to the old boy.

I just read another article that says Renault is paying Fernie $51.3 million a year. If this is true The Fern is being paid by Renault $51.3 million dollars, I'll shit a puppy!

My favorite quote of the Alonso article is Fernie saying "I chose Renault in the end considering their commitment to the sport and because of their strong track record." considering he said he was leaving Renault for McLaren because he wasn't sure of Renault's commitment to F1.

God, I love it!

Alonso once again latched to Renault's teat

Even though we all saw it coming months ago, it is official that Fernie Alonso is back with Renault. Since it seemed inevitable, I can't say I'm surprised, though since it took so long to announce I sort of am. Like, I knew it was going to happen because it makes the most sense. But then came Renault's spy troubles which obviously held up Alonso's re-involvement with the team. Then Renault somehow get cleared of no wrong doing and FINALLY Fernie is back in the loving arms of The French manufacture. Point is, is that anything could have happened because nothing was happening and even though you were pretty sure you knew what was going to go down, it wasn't, so for all we knew, Alonso could end up striking a deal to race on the moon with an alien vehicle manufacture??????

Hopefully Heikki Kovalainen picks up Fern's old seat at McLaren. It'll be sad if he doesn't, cos I like that huge headed Finn and as I've said it before, I do not trust Junior Piquet. Heikki would have been a good team mate to Fern. While I hope I am wrong, I think Nelshino may be a little hot headed next year and will not be a good team mate for Alonso. The only reason I want Alonso to have a bitch team mate is because I'm sick of Alonso whining about not being treated with the respect a 2 time beater of Michael Schumacher deserves. Oh well. So it goes.

Renault not guilty?!

So I just read that Renault are not guilty of the same breach of rules that cost McLaren their constructors championship and $100 million dollars! How is that possible? It even looked like Renault were a bit more guilty than McLaren due to the fact that it seems more people saw the McLaren documents at Renault than McLaren people did of the Ferrari drawings at McLaren. So I must say that I'm quite baffled.

Were Renault cleared of any massive fines because they were purportedly more forthright with the FIA when they supposedly first found out they had McLaren information? Or was it because if Renault were heavily penalized that they may just choose to leave the sport and Fernie Alonso would have no place to race and this would be seen as a massive victory for McLaren who want to win something this year?

I honestly don't know, however I look forward to the FIA's explanation whenever it comes out and hopefully maybe they will revoke McLaren's fine or something, considering Renault was not punished at all, not even posthumously stripped of their 2007 constructor's points, which was what I figured was going to happen.

We will see. Yes. We will see.

Nothing to say...

So Ross Brawn has joined Honda. Fernie is still not signed. Schumacher, Michael is still fit.

There is nothing to say, and I am busy, hence no speak. Sorry. This is the draw back of post season. Trust me, once there is something to say, I'll say it, even if I have to wait till March.

Actually, that's a lie. I've got plenty of Paint ideas, just am lacking the time, but it will happen, and you will laugh... maybe.

In the mean time, I'm still teaching kids to drive well, still listing records on ebay... and still waiting for something to write about.

In other news: I ran my car our of petrol tonight and before it was stopped I tried to be like James Bond and tried to start to push it before the car was stopped. I ended up rolling under the car and almost got run over by my own motor. However, I found out Toyota's are easy to push and they pick up speed quickly. I mention this for the benefit of Toyota F1's team next year.

I've sold my stocks in Band-Aid

Yesterday it was announced that Ross Brawn is set to become the new team principal of Honda's F1 operation. Curiously enough Ferrari announced the same day that Jean Todt AKA "The Nervous Ferret" would no longer be in his current position of F1 activities.

While both stories surprised me, it was mainly due to the fact that they came out on the same day. Many knew Todt's time was running out at Ferrari and that Ross Brawn would come back to F1 and be running a team, but I imagined many folks (myself included) thought Brawn would be taking Todt's position. Not that Todt would be replaced by some Italian guy and Brawn would be taking over Honda.

I still wonder why Brawn didn't take over Ferrari. He claims it was due to the fact that he became reacquainted with his family and that Ferrari wouldn't have been much of a challenge because they are still in good working order, but that seems like a cop-out answer to me in all honesty. OK, so he didn't wanna go live in Italy again. Living in the UK does sound much nicer. However, I think Ferrari are about to enter another dark age, such as the one Todt, Schumi, and Brawn helped drag Ferrari out of... so taking over Ferrari and not having the team slide into oblivion would have been a challenge. Maybe a challenge Brawn wasn't interested in tackling. By taking over Honda, who have in the past had semi-decent cars at times, he can't do any worse than Nick Fry or the rest of the team have done so the results are only going to get better over the next two years and Brawn will never have to worry about looking bad. He has already said that his engineering prowess will really have no effect on the 2008 car, as it has already gone into production. So his ass is covered this year any how.

I could be wrong and it could be the truth. However, if he was looking for a challenge then I guess that Honda was the team to go with. They sucked ass this year, they have money, a decent driver in that of Button, Brawn knows Barrichello, and I'm sure the money was right... not to mention a challenge was presented.

The only good news about Jean Todt's departure is that his poor fingers he nibbles on all the time will finally have a chance to heal and his fingers will no longer be shrouded in Band-Aid's

For the time being, I am going nowhere near the Renault-McLaren info case. I'm just letting this one unfold.



Lastly, Schumi tested today for the first time in over a year and topped the time sheets. I called this one, but I wanna see a test where he and Hamilton are together.

NASCAR can choke on a dick!

"NASCAR is not like Formula One racing, where three teams absolutely rule the sport, but the fear is that NASCAR is ambling down the same road.

When asked how close the sport is to a crossroads – and more precisely, how close it is to becoming like Formula One, the kind of boring, follow-the-leader racing guys like Juan Pablo Montoya came to NASCAR to get away from – Evernham opened his eyes wide and spit out, "We've passed the street signs. The crossroad is coming."

I just read the above garbage in an article on Yahoo! in a really long and boring bit about franchising NASCAR teams. Statements like this just piss me off. One of the things they were saying is how half of the THIRTY-FOUR RACES that NASCAR has had this year were won by one team. How can they liken their predicament to F1? NASCAR has like 43 car field per race from about 20 full time teams and there are 8 part time.

Sure, the best funded teams win, that's just the way it is... in ANY SPORT, especially if the sport involves a machine as well. However, one of the reasons F1 is ruled by a handful of teams are due to the fact that there are only 11 teams in F1, and again, money rules. So in F1 the team with the most money can develop the best car and contract the best drivers where as in NASCAR the vehicles are fucking pigs, using technology from the 1960's in general, so in reality, the best funded teams aren't pissing a boat load of cash towards R&D and are throwing that money mainly to drivers that have skill within their sport, since as much as I think NASCAR is boring as shit to watch, I do understand that from a driver's stand point it is a rather exciting from of racing where emphasis is placed more on skill than car development. So the team(s) that have won the majority of the races this year are doing so because they have the best drivers, not particularly due to the fact that they have the best car. The rich boys always have the best package.

I suppose my point is is that you can put Rubens Barrichello in a Ferrari and he will win some races and challenge for a championship from time to time, while when you stick a Rubens in a Honda, you finish your season with 0 points sometimes. An even better example is Sebastian Vettel who was terribly impressive in his debut race, because he is a good driver in a good car. You then stick the good driver in a not so good car and you can still see the good driver doing impressive things, but the results are different in the end.

Formula One has it's flaws, and is almost as much about the cars (if not more) than it is about the pilots of the cars, but this is just how it is and I'm not complaining. I like the technology. A lot. F1 is all about the perfect package, class, and sophisticated driving techniques. NASCAR is about... I dunno... drinking beer, having a hairy back, and waiting for "The Big One", while on the sporting end it's all about driving rough or dirty in cars that are like tanks, but with no technology on board.

So stop trying to liken these two entities when writing articles about franchising... because it just pisses me off and makes me think less of the NASCAR scribes.

Death Rides, Devil Horns, and guys on their way out... or already gone!

This next piece of Microsoft Paint will probably land me in hell, and I call it

"Barrichello's '94 Imola (near) Death Ride and The Devil Horns"


Yup. He's giving the old Devil Horns during his hellacious crash at Imola back in 1994, which is pretty hardcore.

I find it odd that old Rubinho is getting so much coverage in my blog as of late, considering I don't particularly think too much of him one way or another, other than I like him more than most of the old guys still kicking around F1 that won't leave. With that said, I think I shall take a moment to speak about drivers who I wish would already leave F1 or have raced their last race.

So, speaking of such it seems as though Turdsy Fisichella has been given his walking papers being that Mini Piquet will probably race with The Fern at Renault, and purportedly Heikki will move on over to Alonso's vacated seat at McLaren. At least this is what I have read, and I do hope it is the case, because I'm only against the promising Finn being moved to another team if it is a lesser team than his current one. Moving to McLaren wouldn't be a horrid deal and I could live with this.

So it looks like Fisi is out of F1. Good riddence. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy as a person but I think he's a truly unspectacular racer and a slight whiner. I remember back in 2003 or maybe 2004 when there was talk of Schumi retiring that Fisi went to the press literally begging Ferrari to sign him. It was at that point that I realized this guy wasn't good for much other than delivering Jordan Grand Prix their last race win. Why not show on the track yer worth the Scuderia's time. After being brought to Renault to replace Trulli/Villeneuve in 2005 he was outclassed by Alonso, and again in 2006. Fernie left for 2007 and Fisi had the team to himself and did nothing with it. Sure, the car was kind of a turd this year, but it wasn't the previous two years when he did next to nothing with the machine.

Nick Heidfeld and his unspectacular beard look to be safe because for some reason people still think he has some chance of doing something with himself. Sure he scored 61 points to The Kube's 39, but that is not a fantastic representation, considering Kubica had 3 retirements and 1 missed race due to injury, whereas Heidfeld only had two retirements. Either way, I do concede that Nick was quicker than The Kube this year. No denying that, just Heidfeld has been kicking around in F1 for 7 seasons, making a total of 132 starts, while The Kube has raced just 1.3 seasons, making only 22 starts... so Heidfeld better be quicker. I just think Heidfeld is a solid-to-mediocre driver at best.

Moving along, I wonder what is going to become of Jarno Trulli and his massive neck? Jarno is another one of those guys that is probably on his way out. While he has a valid contract for 2008, due to the uncertain future of Alonso, Toyota have seemed to be entertaining the idea of buying him out of his contract which could leave him marooned. The way I see it is that Toyota should let Jarno stick around for another year. They have never given him a great car, so therefore have nothing lost by keeping him around the paddock for yet another year. Besides, what else is he going to do with that tree trunk of a neck?

Ralph Schumacher on the other hand, I can understand why they did not retain his services. However, if all Ralphie was asking for was to keep any prize money won/earned and for Toyota to take care of travel expenses, then Toyota should have kept him around for another year, being as with Jarno, Toyota have never really ponied up a fantastic car and we know Ralph is capable of winning races... but I imagine his proposal to them was to halve his salary, which would still be $10 or $11 million a year, which is not exactly a bargain, even if you are the world's most prosperous car maker. I suppose next year will be the first Schumacherless year since 1991.

David Coulthard deserves another year or three with Red Balls considering he purportedly helped engineer Adrian Newey's entrance to the team and as of yet, Ade hasn't yet spat out one of his classic designs. While DC will never win a championship, he's still a solid racer and in the twilight of his career, yet still producing strong results with what he has been given. I mean, he out performed The Webb, whom is another driver I'm not too sure about, yet I shant talk shit upon since he always ends up in the wrong car at the wrong time, though if he doesn't do something soon, I will start hating on him.

Wurz retired, which was a smart move. I have already addressed this subject though in previous enteries.

Then there's the guy who keeps popping up in all my blog entries like he was my favorite friggin driver or something... Mr. Rubens Barrichello. I like Rubens, I will admit this. The guy has had an interesting career, and was Michael Schumacher's ultimate bitch. Sure, if he had not been at Ferrari he probably would have never won a race and have been out of F1 a long time ago, but here he is. He is currently the most experienced driver on the grid, the only current driver to have raced with Senna, and in 2008 will have raced in more GP's than any other driver ever. This year was Barrichello's worst season ever, considering he scored not one point, and scored 2 points back in his rookie season in 1993. This was namely due to Honda producing possibly the shittiest car on the grid. Due to this abortion of a car, Rubens was rewarded with one last contract. It's damn near impossible he will have a worse year than this one, and can leave the sport at the end of 2008 as the guy who raced longer than all others.

Young Rubens questions Senna

Here is a fun youtube find that I wasn't expecting to come across, considering I was looking for some good Nigel Mansell clips that didn't have shitty music backing the action. It's a REALLY long interview with Senna back in 1986 or 1987 (I'm guessing, considering they are talking of Senna's new Japanese team mate, Satoru Nakajima, the first full time Japanese F1 driver, who coincidentally has a son named Kazuki Nakajima whom was announced today as Nico Rosberg's team mate for 2008) Anyhow, with in the first minute we see a young Rubens Barrichello with a head full of thick hair, who was then Brazil's karting champion, asking Senna a question. It's the cutest fucking thing!



I watched a good portion of the clip, but have decided to revisit the whole series on youtube when I have the time, since it looks like the entire interview is about an hour long. If I had a way of just putting up the young Rubens part, which is what amused me most, I would, but I can not. So watch the whole thing or stop after Senna is done speaking with mini Barrichello.

Michael Schumacher should be sneaky

So I've read that Schumi is going to do some testing with Ferrari in order to help them gain some knowledge about driving the cars with out electronic aids, considering all the other drivers in the field, barring DC & Barrichello, have probably never driven a Formula One car with out such aids. That's pretty cool. Sure, he's not racing, but at least he's driving the cars around. I look forward to seeing the time sheets and reading the reports, since I'm curious to see how he feels mentally and more importantly, physically, after being out of F1 cars for over a year. I hope he tops the time sheets. That would be fantastic.

What would be even greater is if like some time next year Kimi got drunk the night before a race and was hella hung over the next day and Schumacher subbed for him, but nobody knew it was Michael. Like, he'd wear Kimi's helmet and everybody would think it was Kimi and it wouldn't be. That would happy me so bad. F1 needs silly guest appearances from old stalwarts like in the WWE. Sure, F1 is serious and millions of dollars and championships are on the line, but it would still rule totally hard!

This last bit has nothing to do with any thing current:

...I just don't like Nigel Mansell with out a mustache!

Where does The Fern go?

So it is now fact that Alonso will not be racing at McLaren next year, but where will he go? What will the implications of his release be? Will he be allowed to go back to Renault or one of the mid-pack teams like Toyota or Red Bull that could afford his services on a monetary basis? I don't know. It would be interesting to see him back at Renault, though I'd be disappointed if Turdsy Fisichella is Fernie's team mate. I like Fisi, but he's had his time in F1 and done a whole lot of naught with it. Meanwhile, Heikki is still young and getting better, yet he wouldn't pose any threat to Alonso. Not that Fisi will of course, I'm just sick of him not being very competitive and still managing to hang around F1. Then again, Turdsy could be given the sack and Piquet could get the other Renault seat and from what I'm reading it is Kovalainen that would be shuffled elsewhere, which would greatly piss me off. Farm out Piquet, that 's what I say! I don't trust Nelson Junior. He's got a chip on his shoulder and after sitting out last season as a tester, I bet he feel's he has really got something to prove and would end up giving Alonso a tough time in the way Hamilton did at McLaren, even though it would probably be less vicious, Fern would probably still be perturbed. Not that I'm against team mates fighting each other, but we know Alonso likes to piss and moan about it and to be quite honest, I'm fucking sick of hearing this type of bellyaching!

There is always the possibility that Alonso could go to Williams, as they do have a vacant seat. While I seriously doubt they'll be challenging for any type of championship next year, Williams are a good team.

So in the end, I'm curious. Where Alonso goes and who get's screwed as a result of his goings.

I also like how Alonso decided in the end (whether he was forced to say this or not) that he was in fact treated fairly at the team so far as equal equipment being provided. I mean, statistically it looks as if this was the truth, considering Hamilton and Alonso ended with equal points and all.

While I, as well as all of the rest of the F1 watching world, have seen Alonso's departure looming for quite some time, I have to wonder if he is going to go down like Emerson Fittipaldi? It's kinda weird when you look at it. Emo was the youngest champ until Alonso came along. Fittipaldi won a championship in a Lotus and McLaren, then moved to his brother's team and nothing ever happened again with him. While Fernie didn't win a championship in a McLaren, there he is, and leaving after a short time there. Where's he gonna go? Will he ever win another championship? I say yes, but wouldn't it be funny if he didn't?

BMW-Sauber would be a nice place for Alonso to land. Like Fisi, I'm tired of Nick Heidfeld, even though he's bringing the beard back to F1, there's no fun in that on the race track!

If anything, it will be an interesting road to where Alonso ends up next and I look forward to it all.

Lastly, if McLaren win the driver's title on an appeal, I will probably stop watching Formula 1, though I strongly doubt this will happen considering Max Mosley doesn't think much of Ron Dennis, his team, or that little fuzzy top driving for him.

Follow Kimi!

I bet the only person who wasn't surprised by todays race was the guy who scripted it... so I suppose that would be God. Even the most jaded F1 pundits had to be left in awe. I'm sure the most amazed person of all was Kimi himself. Before the race he was saying how it was damn near impossible to bag the championship, but still worth trying for. Obviously this paid off.



Kimi owes Lewis Hamilton a big thank you! For if Hamilton had kept his head instead of trying to prove that he's better than Alonso, Little Black Boy Wonder would probably be champion, as he didn't need to win the race. He could have finished fifth or something and still walked away with the crown. Instead he had something to prove to himself, for I don't think anybody else felt he had anything to prove considering he's had such a great season and proved he is a super star racing driver. The announcers were calling his move on Alonso a rookie mistake, but I beg to differ. It was just stupid. If there ever was a rookie mistake, it was when he beached himself in China. What he did today was beyond that. It was plain foolish!

While I didn't want Hamilton to win, I felt bad that he had that mechanical problem. I wanted him to lose due to his own insolence, such as he demonstrated into the first corner not because Kimi's old McLaren luck found Lewis.

Conversely, nor was I rooting for Alonso. The guy has two championships, will probably bag a few more, and was kind of an asshole this season. He deserved to lose. Kimi deserved to win, if only because he had such piss poor reliability during his stay at McLaren. It would have been cruel if either McLaren won the driver's championship this year, though I feel they should have gotten the constructor's championship. However, I'm so done with the Spy-gate shit.

From here I hope the press hounds Kimi. We know the guy likes to party. He used to get drunk a lot. Sometimes he would fall down. Occasionally he would whip out his dick. You *KNOW* he's gonna be rocking out with his cock out and while I don't really care to see his Finnish dingle-dangle, I want to be reading some good stories of Kimi celebrating. Hell, if Schumacher can trash some rooms after winning a sixth championship, then Kimi with his first championship can burn something down or do something equally awesome!

Next, it's a good thing that the season is over and Ron Dennis' rule of no alcohol unless it's from a bottle of Mumm on the podium can be lifted, since I'm sure everybody at McLaren need a good shit-facing after the season they have had. Lewis will be nursing a forty of King Cobra for sure, since he threw away a championship. Alonso has just had a tough season in general and will probably be slurping down some sangría and I'm sure Ron Dennis will be buy a boat load of New Castle for himself and the rest of the team to drown in. Everybody at McLaren need a drink right about now!

Lastly, Felipe Massa, poor guy. The Ferrari number two that knows his place all too well. Sure, he had no hopes of championship glory today, but he wanted to win his home race and sure could have. But no, he wasn't allowed. Obviously, with in good reason was he not allowed to win the race, yet still. How sad. You could tell the poor fellow was near tears in the interview room and in a rare show of emotion, we saw Kimi pat his team mate on the back when the small Brazilian was on the verge of breaking down. He will probably end up like Rubens. But I hope not.

I shall reflect more on the season later, but now I must go to work and teach teenagers how to drive.

Enjoy your drinks everybody!

You must love Microsoft Paint!

I've been really busy as of late, nor has there been anything in F1 news that I care to poke fun at or philosophize about. So I will just post this:



Seriously, doesn't that guy look like a fuckin' zombie in that picture?! If anybody can tell me who he is and what his function at Ferrari is, I would appreciate it because I have always been curious as to whom that poor man was who happened to get a picture taken of him while it appeared that he was a zombie and hungry for human brain.

I wonder what he normally looks like?

So long, you tall bastard!*

So Alex Wurz is retiring from racing immediately, not even bothering to finish the last race of the season. How unprofessional! I'm assuming this was Sir Frank's gift to Alex, letting him say he's done quit and thru with racing, preferring to spend the rest of the season at home with his new child who was born on the 30'th of September while Alex was out racing in Japan. Yeah right. If that were the case he would have retired the week of the Japanese GP. Everybody knew he wasn't going to be back next year considering Alex hasn't had the best season, or best career for that matter. So for the last race of 2007 Williams will be testing a potential seat filler for 2008. I think he is sticking around as a tester, which is a job he enjoys and is lauded to be very good at. The old boy is just done with active racing. I for one will miss him. Alex has a great personality and retention of his soul. Both of these things are missing from most F1 drivers, the slow and the fast. It would have been nice to see Alex race another season. I strongly doubt Williams are going to make the much needed massive step forward to return them back to title contention next year, so having Wurz racing wouldn't have hindered any thing from that stand point. I mean this year he has scored 13 points to Nico Rosberg's 15 and Nico is one hot piece of property... not to mention a very fine looking young man. That's only a two point difference between a guy touted as being a future world champion and an old gray toothed racer. Sure, Rosberg has been more consistent scoring points in 6 races, while Wurz only bagged points in 3 races, but Alex's hauls have been much greater. I think that says a bit of something... though consistency is very important in F1. Still, it would have been nice to see Alex in a race seat for one more year. I think next year he would have done much better since Williams are slowly improving and Alex would have regained his racing chops. Oh well. What's done is done and I wish everybody involved the best of luck.



The same deal went down with Ralf. We all know Ralfie wasn't even offered a contract for next year. He didn't quit. So Toyota was nice too I suppose. But Ralf has just been a huge let down period, little Schuey or not. The thing I will miss about Ralf is his grasp of the English language. Of all the guys that are English as a second language students, Ralf has owned the paddock for quite some time as the most polished speaker... and I greatly respect that, since I'm American and we all know that American's greatly dislike people that don't speak the language well if they are surrounded by it. Actually, we just hate Mexicans. But that's another batch of biscuits.

I really wish Wurz had retired in Japan just so I could have titled this entry "Wurz says: Konichiwa, Bitches!"


* Wurz is 6'1"

You can't hold the Vettel down!

After having his ten position grid penalty lifted for hitting Mark The Web in the arse at the Japanese GP the FIA decided to give almost the same penalty back to young Seb for slowing up Heikki Kovalainen during qualifying. This time though they were kind enough to only shit-can him five places. I think the FIA stewards just wanted to see if they could make Sebastian cry again. Those cruel bastards! Yet Vettel overcame and stormed from 17'th to 4'th in that piece of shit known as the STR. They have always said rain is the great equalizer and time and again it proves to be the case. Just like in Japan Vettel was right up there with the big boys, luckily this time he was rewarded for his heroic stomping of the field. After the race the young man had no words, just howls of happiness, though in all honesty it sounded like he'd got his foot caught in a bear trap.

Lewis Hamilton's tires wore away and he ended up beaching himself in a gravel trap down the pit lane entry. I couldn't believe my eyes. While I'm not a massive Hamilton supporter, I was just amazed this had happened to him. The guy has Michael Schumacher type luck, and is one hell of a driver as well... so to see him slide off the pit entrance and beach himself was just astonishing. Once I'd seen his race was over, I couldn't help but laugh out loud for a good few minutes. Not that I wished bad luck to fall upon him, but seeing Alonso drive past his crippled team mate just made me lose it. I can only imagine Fernando's thoughts when he came across that sight. The Fern was talking about how only a miracle could keep his title hopes alive, and one happened. Just amazing.

While I don't care who wins the championship this year, I'm glad it is finally going down to the last race. While it would be cool to see Lewis win and become the first rookie champion, it'd also be funny to see Fernie win because everybody at McLaren hates him, lastly, I personally would like to see Kimi win it. I honestly feel bad for The Kimster. While at McLaren his cars always broke. Now the ever reliable Ferrari is giving him shit, granted, not as much as when he was racing the silver arrows, but still, it's breaking on him. Some say that this is Kimi's fault as he whomps the shit out of his cars like a drunk hillbilly does to his step children... but still, these cars are meant to be driven hard and Ferrari should be giving him something he can really beat on. We've seen the amazing things Kimi has done by driving his cars hard. Raikkonen has produced more awesome passes and mechanical failures in recent years than any other driver. The guy is an exciting driver and I'd like to see him win it after waiting all these years. We all know Hamilton is gonna be a many times over world champion... so I hope Kimi catches it this year. Just like I hoped Schumi would win it last year... and because I'm wishing all of this Hamilton will win, but I already knew that.

Timo's Glock

My question as to whom Toyota will replace Ralf Schumacher with seems to have been answered. While watching live coverage of the Chinese Friday practice around 3am, Peter Windsor said that Timo Glock would be Jarno Truli's new buddy. I hope this is the driver that Toyota have been looking for. In his first GP with Jordan in 2004 he got a point, albeit due to the fact that the Williams and Toyota's were disqualified, getting a Jordan to P11 is still pretty good. Timo won Rookie of the Year award in Champ Car in 2005 and this year won the GP2 Championship, furthering the fact that if you win the GP2 title you'll get snapped up by an F1 team. I'm assuming he isn't a pay driver any more considering Toyota is the most flush-with-cash team on the grid.

In other Chinese news Lewis Hamilton was cleared of any wrong doing in Japan. This is nice. What I'm most pleased about though is that Seb Vettel's 10 place grid penalty got wiped. All he had to do was bust out some more crocodile tears and the stewards couldn't help but revoke his grid penalty! In reality, that's not the case. It was a silly penalty to give out considering the horrid conditions out there and while it was a real big shame that he fucked up his and The Web's race, I truly think it was a racing incident in the extreme wet maybe or maybe not partially caused by Lew's mildly erratic driving behind the safety car. HOWEVER, as Lewis was the leader, it was up to him how he chose to control the pace of his car and the duty of the cars behind him to adjust accordingly. Not Hamilton's fault if they couldn't adjust quick enough.

Lew's Looming Championship

By the looks of things Lewis Hamilton will probably tie up all the loose ends in China and secure his unprecedented first black, rookie, youngest championship. While I'm neither for it nor against it, for some tiny reason I can't help but feel bad for Alonso. Emo Fittipaldi held the record as the youngest guy to win a world championship for 33 years. Alonso took that record, but only got to hold it for 2 years. I guess that's what you get for being a dick and helping get your employers chucked out of the constructors championship, along with a $100 million dollar fine. Obviously what goes around comes around, but I still feel a little sorry for Alonso.

He had that image of a nice boy that could race fast and beat a Michael Schumacher. Then he moves to McLaren for "a new challenge" and a boat load more money, expecting to own the place and it just didn't work out. Now he looks like a huge asshole, and isn't even going to win himself a championship. I'm not even sure why I feel any sympathy, I just do. Not much, but a smidge.

The thing to be learned from all of this is to see how Lewis Hamilton evolves over the years. Right now he is the nice, gregarious, gap toothed rookie that everybody loves. Will he too become a snake in a few years time, if he isn't already? I wonder. If for some strange reason Lewis suffers a career ending crash maybe he should go in to politics, since I must say I'm quite impressed with how he wrangled McLaren this year and was able to mind fuck a two time world champion (and this is all AFTER being impressed with his quality drives)

Another person I feel sorry for is Ralf Schumacher. His brother is Michael. That's pretty much all one has to say about that. Ralfie is out of Toyota at the end of the year, and I'll be suprised if he pops up with another team, so next year may be the first Schumacherless year since 1991. The guy has 6 wins in his 10 year career, which is not too bad at all. But then you think about his older brother with his 91 wins in 15 years and your opinion of Ralf drops considerably. It is arguable to say that with out big brother Ralf would have never gotten a drive, but he did, and overall, did not do too horribly. I mean, Ralf is number 33 on the lists of most wins. Obviously Michael is at the top of that list. So the guy should be cut some slack, cos he's not a bad racer, he just is a bad racer compared to the greatest of the modern era, which so happens to be his brother.

I'm curious to see who Toyota picks up to fill Ralf's seat and how well the newbie does, considering Toyota has been in F1 since 2002 and have done a whole lot of nothing. I'm hoping they get their shit together, as I'd like to see the world's largest auto maker be a little more competitive... but at this point I don't see that happening, though I hope I'm wrong.