The only thing I didn't mind about Vettel getting back to his winning ways, was that it was nice to hear The Michael Schumacher Song again (German/Italian national anthems) which I have sort of missed. They go together really well. For a long time I thought it was just because I was so used to Schumi winning all the time back in the early 2000's, but we've seen Seb and Lewis win quite a bit over the past few years and their mash ups don't sound nearly as good at The Michael Schumacher Song.

Speaking of good old Michael, I bet the reason Seb didn't do his little jump ON the podium was that such a move is probably trademarked by the 7 time champion.

I hope Fernando Alonso feels like a real jackass right about now. It would be one thing is Vettel was winning again in a Red Bull, but it is another thing that he is literally doing it in Fern's old ride. Alonso might not have been winning titles in that Ferrari, but he was always pretty competitive bar last year (but who was, other than Mercedes?) and should have had a bit more patience and just stayed put. It wasn't like he was under appreciated and inadequately compensated. I mean, maybe he'll win a title in the McLaren, but I doubt he'll stick around long enough for that engine to become competitive. That just seems to be the kind of guy he is. Always jumping around, landing in the wrong place at the wrong time in stop-gap cars.

As much as I appreciate Alonso and am sick of Vettel, I do respect Seb and am sorta kinda looking forward to seeing what Fernando can or can not do with this pig called a McLaren-Honda.

(AFP Photo/MANAN VATSYAYANA)

Come on, Lewis!

Lewis Hamilton needs to fucking get over the last race and Schumi not just rolling over like an old dog and letting him through, like entitled Lewis thinks should be the case.

He keeps talking about how in Malaysia he was not defending, but trying to break a tow and that is why he was wiggling and such.

All I can say is that if Schumacher had pulled the same shit on say... Jenson Button, Schumi would have been given some sort of reprimand but I'm pretty sure the stewards left him alone due to the fact it was funny that The Brown Possum get a taste of his own medicine.

He did not like it.

Monster Monza

Today's race was pleasant, and as always at Monza, seemed to go by way too quick! I quite enjoyed the penalty handed out to Liuzzi. That *must* have been some form of steward humor!

+While I will admit that Schumacher did a bit of artful blocking today, I found it amusing that The Brown Possum whined about it, considering it is not a foreign defense maneuver of his. I was glad though that Schumacher was warned to lay off and was not punished, as that would have been lame. Whilst McLaren mentioned that he was twice warned by the stewards via Brawn, what I would be curious to know is before Hamilton was ever penalized or warned publicly, had such "warnings" come to him the same way they had to Michael today?

+Not to take away from Vettel's brilliant race craft, but I can't wait for this year to be over and the blown diffusers to be banished and hopefully if Red Bull finds another way to obscurely bend the rules next year, instead of letting it go such as they did with these difusers, the FIA will tell them to eat a dick and all will be well. That car is too fucking fast. Red Bull came up with and developed it before everybody else. Once everybody else realized it was the way to go, they started dumping money and resources in to it. That's the only reason the FIA didn't flat out shitcan it like it intended to was it probably would have really slowed the Red Balls down a lot + the other teams had already wasted all that money because apparently it was not illegal. I'm not salty at Red Bull for exploiting this, I'm mad at the FIA for telling them not do continue to do so earlier than they did.

Spa 2011

As always, I was thrilled Spa was the race taking place.

+However, I was sad that Schumacher's tire decided to depart from the car and then attempt to chase Michael and the car down. That was a real bummer, especially when you saw what kind of race Schumacher ended up having. Right now that Mercedes isn't even a 5'th place car and Michael was able to get it up that high, after starting dead last. It is nice to know the old goat has still "got it". It is just such a shame that he's been having uncharacteristically bad luck this past two years.

+That was a kind gesture of Nico to give Michael 5'th place. I hope Schumacher took him out to dinner that night.

+I was also sad about Senna's dash to the first corner. I was quite happy that he was racing and getting a chance to prove himself a worthy race driver (or a rich kid of a legend) and he placed well and had a chance to really shine, so it was a bummer that he blew his wad like an overly excited teen and caused all that contact.

+When the Brown Possum crashed out and appeared all motionless I was quite worried. As much as I enjoy seeing Hamilton crash out of races due to stupid shit he does, I always like to see him get up and out of the car as well. I'm glad he was OK in the end though as I want to see him crash out of more races due to his sometimes silliness.

+I'm sick of Red Balls...

Overall though, a decent Spa race.

Schumacher & Sauber

"Michael, Heinz-Harald Frentzen and Karl Wendlinger were our junior team for Sauber Mercedes in the Sportscar World Championship.

"The plan then was that Sauber would enter F1 in 1993 together with Mercedes. So it was quite normal that we would have facilitated Michael's first race by paying Eddie Jordan the required sum of money."

Sauber says he only told Schumacher about what had happened at the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix, which was supposed to be the German's final race in F1.

"He was clearly surprised when he discovered the full circumstances during his retirement race in 2006 in Brazil," said Sauber. "He thereafter sent me a helmet. I do not expect any more [gratitude]. Michael made his own way through his career by being fast."

Sauber believes that one of the keys to Schumacher's success in F1 has been his hard-working nature.

"Speed alone is not enough," he said. "Frentzen, for example, had an equal amount of talent, possibly a bit more. But Michael was a very hard worker, was very ambitious, mentally strong and physically always perfectly prepared. That is why it was noticeable from early on that he was a special talent."

I found the above statement by Peter Sauber to be very interesting. It comes from an article about how Sauber paid Eddie Jordan the 150K in UK pounds to let Schumi drive his first F1 race. What he said about Heinz-Harald Frentzen fascinated me, as The Shitty David Duchvony* was always a back-marker since I've been watching F1, so it was surprising to see that Peter Sauber, a man whom I respect, thinks HHF had MORE talent than old Schumacher.

While I find that hard to believe, I do agree with the statement as a whole about speed not being enough to get by on (yes, everybody is looking at you Kimi...)

*

Bad Home GP Luck & Random Thoughts

+I find it curious how some of the "Big Boys" in F1 often have bad luck at home GP's when they qualify good. Today for instance, was not Vettel's day amazingly, which is fine with me since he already has such a massive lead and all, though I *almost* felt bad for him. I would have rather had Fern or Webber win as opposed to The Brown Possum, but it was nice to see Hamilton's genuine appreciation for his race win.

+At the British GP I truly felt bad for Button. What a horrible and terribly uncharacteristic problem that befell him! Then again, I kinda felt bad for JB today too, but that is mainly because I have had a newfound respect for him since he won his championship a few years back after riding him so hard for years as being a waster. I imagine if he wasn't Lewis' team mate I wouldn't be wanting The Brown Possum to fail as much as I do at times. I think my beef with Hamilton is that he's a bit too cheeky and some times comes off as entitled on track for my liking as we already know that he is a brilliant driver and I think he's a stand up guy off track, so as a whole I appreciate LH but rarely find myself rooting for him during races.

+While I am a fan of Vettel, I hope the SpeedTV guys are right and that maybe Red Bull's performance drops off a bit like what happened to Button in his championship year. I've already accepted that Vettel & Red Bull are probably going to win the championship again this year, but I sure wouldn't mind seeing some more wins by Ferrari and McLaren and my unlikely dream win of the year would be to have Schumacher bring home Mercedes first win in a wet race in Brazil after starting 12'th or something. It would also be nice to see Massa win again as even though Ferrari say he's racing for them next year, I suspect it'll probably be his last with the Scuderia.

Chance & Broadcasters

I was on grandprix.com tonight doing some research for something (I've already forgot what it was, to be quite honest) and after I found out whatever information I originally went searching their archives for I got curious about what race it was that I first saw as an adult that got me obsessed with F1.

Once I pinpointed the race in question (French GP, Magny-Cours, July 21, 2002) I started thinking about the few people that really enjoy this blog all over the world and how the reason they come here is for my silly take on things. I'm not a news source. I'm not terribly technical. I am an opinionated American that some folks find amusing due to my semi-skewed take on Formula 1.

Once upon a time I was supposed to be an up and coming young F1 journalist years ago but apparently I was too old even at the time to win the Red Bull journalism prize (by 1 year) that I felt I needed to help get my career kick-started and at the same time I have yet to fulfill my Journalism/Mass Communications degree at the ripe old age of 28... So as you can see life got in the way and as of late I have forgot to update this blog as much as I should be doing. But in the end I sure do love to write about Formula 1 racing and the things that captivate and amuse me about the sport both new and old.

That is why this blog exists. That is the same reason there are only a handful of the many web pages devoted to F1 that are worth reading that DO serve as a news source. This blog exists to amuse, provoke some though and possibly educate. I don't break news. I'm not going to be able to explain very well why some teams were soiling themselves at the beginning of this past season over the double diffusers some other teams had. There are plenty of people who can do that well and plenty more people who aspire to.

Formula 1 at times can be kind of cold and soulless. I like to latch on to that bit of warmth that the sport does emit and discuss that aspect. With that said, I shall try to get back to my "roots" and tell more stories of how F1 has touched me as well as parody and lampoon the other aspects that I find absurd for the enjoyment of the few fine loyal readers I do have... starting this entry!

I learned 10 years ago as a young intern at Alternative Press magazine here in Cleveland that publishers don't get too excited over creative writing exercises involving humor concerning whatever subject it is that their publication "seriously" covers, but many readers can be and ARE entertained by such bits of nonsense. Who doesn't like entertainment?

With that said, I shall tell my eye-opening Formula 1 experience and elaborate on it a bit. I would greatly enjoy reading what your F1 eye-opener was.

The Tale:

It was early August in 2002. I had just arrived home from a 3 day trip to Peoria, Illinois and was kind of pissed off as a whole due to the person I was traveling with and the fact that we hit massive traffic delays about 50 miles south of arriving home which added an extra hour to an already long enough road trip. It was around midnight when I finally arrived home. My father was watching TV and drinking a glass of scotch as he often does. The old man was real excited because he'd found a channel that showed F1 races regularly.

Now, my dad has been a pretty devout follower of Formula 1 since the late 1960's when a buddy of his in college took him up to Watkins Glen for some racing action and evenings of drinking. He went to all the US GP's at The Glen from 1973 to 1980. In 1976 he first won tickets to the inaugural Long Beach Grand Prix from Formula Magazine. He had his father who worked at the local General Electric in Erie, PA make him up some "official" looking credentials that stated he was a Team Lotus photographer and was able to get into the paddock and on to the starting grid to take some amazing pictures of drivers and famous folk, on top of being able to get some great Super 8 film by hanging off of the barriers manned by a track marshal for drivers to enter through should they need to get past the catch-fencing and concrete barriers in the event of a failure or crash. Later that year he and my mother went to the race at Mosport In Canada. Then, in 1981 I was born. My birth caused him to have to give up wandering around the USA & Canada to watch F1 races. It also sadly caused him to have to quit racing in the SCCA's Formula Vee series. To make matters worse, my need for Pampers was so fierce that he had to sell his beautiful 1969 Lotus Europa which had aided him in the procurement of 3 SCCA Autocross championships in the mid-1970's. With my bottom covered in diapers with money received from selling relics of his youth he was still able to make it to two more GP's due to his employment with Phillip Morris. In 1982 and 1983 he scored some great tickets to the Grand Prix of Detroit, which sadly were the last races he has attended.

Since then he had always kept up with F1 via magazines and any races shown on TV. He named me after Niki Lauda and as a small child would try to educate me in the ways of F1. While I was too young to really understand I was always well aware of the names Stirling Moss, Jim Clark, Jackie Stewart, James Hunt, Emerson Fittipaldi, and of course Niki Lauda. I would play with his expensive small scale F1 replica cars and that was about it. I always had an appreciation and respect for the sport but due to it being hard to see in the states, never really started following it... until that fateful night in August of 2002 when the Speed Channel was replaying a recent race in the wee hours of the morning.

I remember just arriving back home and during a commercial my pops telling me how he was pretty sure a Michael Schumacher was about to surpass Juan Manuel Fangio's record of world championships that Schumi & Fangio up to that race currently shared. While my dad was familiar with the Schumacher name, I sure was not but this information was enough for me to at least sit down and watch the last half of the race. I found it interesting because at that point in time I had become very consumed with the art and science of driving so it was finally fascinating to me to watch these fine men driving the best cars to the limit.

From there on out my love of the sport only became more and more vicious. I spent the off season(s) reading tons of my dad's many books on F1 from the 60's and 70's and discovered the F1 web pages I still check first thing in the morning to this day. I started my own F1 book collection as I love the old school as much as the new school. I would poach my pops' books, buy new ones when I could find them at my local book shop, and buy ones online that while expensive, I felt I must have.

On top of raiding my dad's files and growing my own collection of books, and hours of internet reading I would watch the previous seasons races during the winter months because in 2003 I started recording EVERY race weekend and Formula 1 Decade and ANY other bit of F1 related material that came on TV.

From watching the previous seasons races during the winter I grew to love the American F1 commentators immensely. I remember when a Steve Matchett one day appeared on the broadcasts along with Mr. Hobbs & company. Matchett was so technical and business oriented that it threw me because he was so well informed and had so much insight. I was used to the other guys being efficient and lighthearted but this fellow just presented the facts and knew what he was talking about so intricately. It took a few races for me to warm to the man but now I don't know what I would do should he not call the races. Between Matchett, the wonderfully colorful and amusing David Hobbs & good old Bob Varsha I can no longer fully enjoy a race with out them. At times I have had to watch European coverage due to VCR malfunctions and it was just not the same. Those three men make F1 that much more interesting for me and are honestly the only reason I am so adamant about catching the Friday practices. We all know that not a whole hell of a lot happens during those practice sessions some times, but I derive a great amount of enjoyment hearing Hobbs, Matchett, Varsha, and Windsor just shooting the shit that Friday practice is an event for me. While I do enjoy qualifying the only reason I make sure to tune in at the top of the sessions is to hear them, as we all know the real action happens in the last 2 minutes of Q3 any how.

It is funny how the fellows who call your races can make such an impact on the overall viewing experience. The first time I realized this strongly was when Speed Channel would lose races to CBS and my three guys wouldn't be calling the races. I remember watching the last 15 laps or so of a thrilling San Marino GP in 2005 muted because the guys calling the race were angering me so much. You couldn't listen to them. They were atrocious. If "my guys" had been calling the race those last laps would have been just amazing. I was so pissed that I wrote a letter to CBS voicing my distaste. I appreciated that they were trying to bring a bigger American audience to Formula 1 (and more fine American dollars to Mr. Ecclestone's bulging bank account) but at the same time explained that if they had had Hobbs, Matchett & Varsha that people would be even more receptive. Eventually the races stopped being on CBS and instead on Fox, when not on Speed and thankfully we got our announcers back. I like to think my letter helped. It didn't. But I still like to think it did...


But that wasn't the first time I realized how much "your guys" meant to the overall viewing experience. It all originally clicked with me and made sense one day when some really good racing was going on and that new Matchett guy was getting excited. When he gets excited the man gets an aggressive, very British tone about him when truly stirred and that in turn made me even more excited about what was transpiring since I knew that if Matchett was really excited that it was the real deal. From that point onward I realized why people were so sad when Murray Walker retired. As a newbie AND an American I never really heard him call races but after spending a lot of money on bootleg DVD's of vintage seasons and hearing him I realized that he was the voice of British F1 viewers and to many, his voice was all they knew. He was a part of the family. Like a cousin or uncle.

The guys who call the races that you watch make up such an important part of the show. You figure on average, if you watch all the Friday, Saturday, and Sunday events that you are hearing "your guys" talk for almost 80 hours a year.

Think about that.

So in the end I would like to thank my father, that shitty trip to Illinois back in 2002, Niki Lauda, Michael Schumacher and the announcers on Speed's F1 broadcasts for all helping me discover my love of Formula 1 Racing.

Thanks guys!

There better be a triumphant return...

I was very pleased to read that my new main man, Kamui Kobayashi, found a decent ride and has signed for the recently revived Sauber sans BMW team. I look forward to his fun style of racing and possibly pissing off smooth kings of driving like World Champ J. Button.

Other than that I am as "over the moon" as little old Bernie Ecclestone is with all the stories I continue to read about Michael Schumacher's supposed return to F1 with Mercedes GP. When you are reading stories with Luca di Montezemolo talking about how in his eyes it is Schumacher's "twin" that will be racing for the Silver Arrows next season you can only assume gears are turning and Schumi really is on the verge of coming back.

I just love it!

If Schumacher does in fact return to the grid I wonder if Jenson Button will be kicking himself in the ass for not staying with Brawn... if it was a challenge he was really after.

While very few will debate that Lewis Hamilton is a great driver who will win more championships in the future, even fewer will debate that Michael Schumacher is a force of racing nature.

If Button wanted a same-machine challenge going head to head with Schumacher would have been the wisest choice on his part considering he apparently wants to be chewed up and spat out by his team mate. While I am rather confident Lewis will not have much of a problem doing this to JB, Schumacher would humiliate Button in a way that Max Mosley has to pay to receive.

I understand the main reason Schumacher is being poached is because Mercedes GP want to start their re-introduction to F1 with a beastly German super-team, on top of having the means and will to procure such a talent. If this were still Brawn GP there would be far less of a chance they'd be knocking on Schumi's door, even after letting their champion go to McLaren and their old reliable saunter on over to the Williams pasture to graze. Maybe they would? Maybe Schumacher would still have come back had the team been Brawn and not Mercedes? I don't know.

All I do know is I am excited to see Schumacher either live up to his fans expectations of a come back or fail miserably. I also know if after achieving world champion status if the next step in Button's personal career path was to try to go head to head in the same car with someone he deemed to be a worthy adversary that Michael Schumacher is the man to try to prove something against.

Glock's gut...

I just read a little story about Timo Glock saying his gut feeling is that Michael Schumacher is going to come back to F1 racing. I hope his gut is right and knows something my gut does not.

How nice...

I find it pleasant to read that Ferrari will supposedly not cock-block Michael Schumacher if he decides to return to kicking ass and taking names in F1 for Mercedes GP. That is honorable.

Edge of seat announcement... or not?

So it looks quite likely that tomorrow the Lotus name in F1 will be revived with two guys I like quite a bit but always let me down. Of course I am talking about the speed demon of qualifying and slow poke of the race as well as being owner of the thickest neck in F1, Mr. Jarno Trulli. Purportedly the other man is a fellow with whom I share a birthday and is the proud owner of the biggest head (physically, not metaphorically) in Formula 1, Finland's sole Fin left in the sport (as of the time of this writing) Mr. Heikki Kovalainen.

I am excited, as I am a vintage Lotus F1 lover. I can now proudly wear my old brass Lotus belt buckle not just as a fan of their fine ugly little road cars but also as a Formula 1 team enthusiast. While I don't expect much out of the team I do hope they aren't the slowest of the lot next year. I would like to bequeath that honor to Virgin F1 because Richard Branson is a cheap-ass-rich-man-hippie. I actually like Branson just fine but hope he gets what he pays for as he got lucky last year sponsoring the underdog as he so often likes to state.

Now what I really would appreciate the most of all things F1 related would be a statement released by Mercedes GP or the Michael Schumacher camp that was notarized by a notary public declaring either he has in fact been released from contract by Ferrari, declared fit by a doctor to race, and has indeed signed a new 1 year contract to race Mercedes super all German Nazi rocket sleighs OR can not get out of his Ferrari contract, is still not fit to race, and no longer cares to think about racing F1 cars any longer.

Just give me one or the other. I don't want to wait any more. I've already been teased by a Schumi return once this year and gotten over it. Stop dangling this frotting carrot in front of my face already!

It is a great shame... but still great!

Michael gets the call on his scarlet "Schumifone" and after quickly ducking into the nearest public toilet he emerges and is ready to save the day and make millions of super sad little Ferrari fans happy once again. Schumacher himself will now prove that either the F60 is in fact a pig, or that he really is as good as some say!



While it truly is a great shame that something like this had to happen in order to get Michael Fucking Schumacher back into the cockpit, it is still great! When I got home from work and read that Schumacher was returning to help out some old friends I let out a yell that would be likable to one a hillbilly might make if Dale Earnhardt himself rose from the dead.

That picture of Felipe makes me so damn sad though. Poor old Massa. When I saw the footage I had to leave the room cos a tear came to my eye. Kinda like back in 2004 when Ralfie Schumacher ate shit so badly into that wall at Indianapolis. That was the first time I was ever scared watching an F1 race. When I saw this actual picture, I was even more upset than when I saw him catch that spring to the head. If that thing had been caught any lower our little Felipe would no doubt be dead and that would be even worse than is the case now.

When Lauda made the mention that Schumacher was the only real choice for Ferrari, I entertained it for like 2 seconds and decided that it would never happen and that Lauda was just saying his normal off the wall shit (albeit always with a grain of truth) just to ruffle some feathers. Then I started secretly yearning for it to become a reality. Then yet again I realized it just wouldn't happen... so when I saw the story on GrandPrix.com I almost tossed my cookies with excitement.

While nobody wanted to see Massa hurt, I bet the guy just gained a million new fans because I know I am not the only one who has missed Schumi the past 2.5 years.

I'm so glad Michael has a month to train and am truly excited to see him back racing, if only for a little while.

Kick some ass Schumacher.

Get Well Massa

annnnnnnnnd...I don't even care about BMW pulling out of the sport any more.

Michael Schumacher, you fucking rule!

Plenty of times you'll catch a story about an F1 driver getting a speeding ticket, or his license revoked for a long time in a certain country. Sure, makes sense. Not too surprising. However, Schumi is a man with style and awesomeness. I was just getting ready to go to bed when I saw on the front page of Yahoo! US a picture of Schumacher. At first I was worried, since you almost NEVER see any F1 related news on the main USA Yahoo! web page, so I was thinking my main man had died or something horrid. Then I read the story and just cracked the hell up.

You gotta love that due to the fact that he was running late he commandeered the cab to get to the family to the airport on time. That's pretty much the coolest thing I think Schumacher could ever do, other than come back to F1!

I tip my hat to the old boy.

I just read another article that says Renault is paying Fernie $51.3 million a year. If this is true The Fern is being paid by Renault $51.3 million dollars, I'll shit a puppy!

My favorite quote of the Alonso article is Fernie saying "I chose Renault in the end considering their commitment to the sport and because of their strong track record." considering he said he was leaving Renault for McLaren because he wasn't sure of Renault's commitment to F1.

God, I love it!