So it looks quite likely that tomorrow the Lotus name in F1 will be revived with two guys I like quite a bit but always let me down. Of course I am talking about the speed demon of qualifying and slow poke of the race as well as being owner of the thickest neck in F1, Mr. Jarno Trulli. Purportedly the other man is a fellow with whom I share a birthday and is the proud owner of the biggest head (physically, not metaphorically) in Formula 1, Finland's sole Fin left in the sport (as of the time of this writing) Mr. Heikki Kovalainen.
I am excited, as I am a vintage Lotus F1 lover. I can now proudly wear my old brass Lotus belt buckle not just as a fan of their fine ugly little road cars but also as a Formula 1 team enthusiast. While I don't expect much out of the team I do hope they aren't the slowest of the lot next year. I would like to bequeath that honor to Virgin F1 because Richard Branson is a cheap-ass-rich-man-hippie. I actually like Branson just fine but hope he gets what he pays for as he got lucky last year sponsoring the underdog as he so often likes to state.
Now what I really would appreciate the most of all things F1 related would be a statement released by Mercedes GP or the Michael Schumacher camp that was notarized by a notary public declaring either he has in fact been released from contract by Ferrari, declared fit by a doctor to race, and has indeed signed a new 1 year contract to race Mercedes super all German Nazi rocket sleighs OR can not get out of his Ferrari contract, is still not fit to race, and no longer cares to think about racing F1 cars any longer.
Just give me one or the other. I don't want to wait any more. I've already been teased by a Schumi return once this year and gotten over it. Stop dangling this frotting carrot in front of my face already!
Showing posts with label Heikki Kovalainen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heikki Kovalainen. Show all posts
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Beautiful Grid
As an American, I'm supposed to always (and do) root for Ferrari, since I don't know any better. And while I'm sad that Kimi's car shat the bed, I must say this is a beautiful grid! In the top ten slots there are 7 different teams! That's friggin' awesome! I'm so happy to see Heikki The Huge Head off to a good start in a car worth driving. At the same time I'm happy to see Alonso nowhere in the top ten.
While I think Fernie is a great driver and a worthy two time World Champion, I've got to say he's a stupid son of a bitch... or a racist. One or the other. While Ron Dennis may or may not be an asshole and Lewis Hamilton may or may not be black (almost said African-American right there!) we all know McLaren produce good cars. And they have for quite some time. The reason Kimi did not win in a McLaren is that I think he has the propensity to beat the shit out of his cars. I think he drives them really hard and utilized all the driver aids. In comparison to his time at McLaren, Kimi's team mates had next to no trouble with their cars. Anyhow, point is, last year Fernie was the best driver in the best team and had a new guy who was pretty froggin' good too. Alonso got mad cos everybody at McLaren wasn't giving him a rim-job on a daily basis, and that's just silly. Last I checked in a sport such as this it is a good thing to have a team mate that can challenge you. It only makes you stronger, whether you win or lose, since all you want to do is beat that other fucker. Apparently Alonso got used to having a Turdsy Fisichella and Jarno Truli racing along side him because as soon as black boy wonder Hamilton started impressing the world Fernie started acting the bitch and complaining. Why not just drive harder. Don't ask the team to give the other guy inferior equipment. I'm sure he could have driven harder and kept his yap shut. I mean he beat Schumi for two years running, and that guy had his shit together. So what does Alonso do? He jumps ship cos by the end of the year everybody hated everybody else at that team and they were willing to be rid of his monkey ass. While Fernie should have just quietly hated on Hamilton and drove his Spanish nuts off, he went back to Renault who have been off form since he left them. Maybe it was a bad year for Renault? Maybe it was due to the fact that they were demoralized that Fernie left in the first place. I mean he gave them a year warning, after his last championship car was already built. So maybe they slagged off for the 2007 car. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm glad "Shitty Alonso" aka Heikki Kovalainen got yet another vacant Alonso seat because Fernie deserves to be relegated to that under performing Renault. While I feel and hope that Alonso is going to pull off some sweet drives this year I hope today made him step back and wonder for a moment if he left that half second that he purportedly brought to McLaren, at McLaren...
With that said, I'm really enthused about this upcoming season. While I am of the school of thought that felt F1 is all about being the pinnacle of motorsport, therefore having the most cutting edge cars, I'm also very happy many of the driver aids are gone. I look at it this way, F1 introduced all those aids to motor sport. They ran with many of them for quite a number of years, and now it's time to give the cars back to the drivers for a bit and start coming up with a whole new batch of totally off the wall shit to incorporate into those cars that in 10 years will be banned by the FIA. It is so beautiful to see cars sliding about on the circuit and odd grids such as this one. It all just makes me smile.
This season is going to be even better than the last one because there isn't going to be a whiny Alonso, he is going to have to prove himself on the track, there won't be any Spygates, no longer is there Traction Control, and Lewis Hamilton is pissed off and likes the taste of blood!!
While I think Fernie is a great driver and a worthy two time World Champion, I've got to say he's a stupid son of a bitch... or a racist. One or the other. While Ron Dennis may or may not be an asshole and Lewis Hamilton may or may not be black (almost said African-American right there!) we all know McLaren produce good cars. And they have for quite some time. The reason Kimi did not win in a McLaren is that I think he has the propensity to beat the shit out of his cars. I think he drives them really hard and utilized all the driver aids. In comparison to his time at McLaren, Kimi's team mates had next to no trouble with their cars. Anyhow, point is, last year Fernie was the best driver in the best team and had a new guy who was pretty froggin' good too. Alonso got mad cos everybody at McLaren wasn't giving him a rim-job on a daily basis, and that's just silly. Last I checked in a sport such as this it is a good thing to have a team mate that can challenge you. It only makes you stronger, whether you win or lose, since all you want to do is beat that other fucker. Apparently Alonso got used to having a Turdsy Fisichella and Jarno Truli racing along side him because as soon as black boy wonder Hamilton started impressing the world Fernie started acting the bitch and complaining. Why not just drive harder. Don't ask the team to give the other guy inferior equipment. I'm sure he could have driven harder and kept his yap shut. I mean he beat Schumi for two years running, and that guy had his shit together. So what does Alonso do? He jumps ship cos by the end of the year everybody hated everybody else at that team and they were willing to be rid of his monkey ass. While Fernie should have just quietly hated on Hamilton and drove his Spanish nuts off, he went back to Renault who have been off form since he left them. Maybe it was a bad year for Renault? Maybe it was due to the fact that they were demoralized that Fernie left in the first place. I mean he gave them a year warning, after his last championship car was already built. So maybe they slagged off for the 2007 car. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm glad "Shitty Alonso" aka Heikki Kovalainen got yet another vacant Alonso seat because Fernie deserves to be relegated to that under performing Renault. While I feel and hope that Alonso is going to pull off some sweet drives this year I hope today made him step back and wonder for a moment if he left that half second that he purportedly brought to McLaren, at McLaren...
With that said, I'm really enthused about this upcoming season. While I am of the school of thought that felt F1 is all about being the pinnacle of motorsport, therefore having the most cutting edge cars, I'm also very happy many of the driver aids are gone. I look at it this way, F1 introduced all those aids to motor sport. They ran with many of them for quite a number of years, and now it's time to give the cars back to the drivers for a bit and start coming up with a whole new batch of totally off the wall shit to incorporate into those cars that in 10 years will be banned by the FIA. It is so beautiful to see cars sliding about on the circuit and odd grids such as this one. It all just makes me smile.
This season is going to be even better than the last one because there isn't going to be a whiny Alonso, he is going to have to prove himself on the track, there won't be any Spygates, no longer is there Traction Control, and Lewis Hamilton is pissed off and likes the taste of blood!!
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Trading Places
So McLaren signed the giant headed wonder Heikki Kovalainen to partner Lew Hamilton next year. I am glad about this since I feel that Kovalainen is a solid race driver and it would have been criminal if he did not have a seat in F1 next year. We all know Hamilton is going to do better and the fight between teammates on the track isn't going to be as close as was the case with Alonso and Hamilton this year, but I have a feeling Heikki will hold his own and not be made to look like a total fool by Lewis.
Conversley, I still have my reservations about the Alonso/Piquet line up at Renault for 2008, but we will see.
In the end I find it amusing that Alonso went from McLaren back to Renault, and that Heikki whom filled Alonso's vacant Renault seat this year is now filling Alonso's vacant McLaren seat next year.
Maybe we should call Kovalainen "Shitty Alonso"?
Conversley, I still have my reservations about the Alonso/Piquet line up at Renault for 2008, but we will see.
In the end I find it amusing that Alonso went from McLaren back to Renault, and that Heikki whom filled Alonso's vacant Renault seat this year is now filling Alonso's vacant McLaren seat next year.
Maybe we should call Kovalainen "Shitty Alonso"?
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