USF1

I am very glad to be seeing all of these stories about USF1 in the news recently. This is a good sign. I was worried last week when I saw the first story that it was the only one I would ever see and never again would we hear anything of or about USF1. Hopefully they can keep their momentum and gather funding and get a team going. I wish them the best in their effort to marry F1 and America... for everybody's sake!

Bernie, Honda, and Senna Jr.

I just read an article on grandprix.com that claims Honda has signed Bruno Senna. I found this odd as up until now, there had been no word on whether the team had been "saved" or not, which would make it a rather curious thing to sign a driver if it is not even known if the team would make the grid for the first race.

Obviously things have been going on behind closed doors because signing a driver to a nonexistent team would be a bad thing on many levels, as I'm sure under the circumstances said driver would probably be able to sue if in fact Honda couldn't go racing, since Senna could have easily signed up for another season in GP2, even though the team he was with last season had to fill his seat... so what I am getting at is obviously things are going on at Honda that we don't know about... so I was not surprised to read further on down the article to see that supposedly none other than Bernard Ecclestone may in fact be involved with keeping the team alive. Grandprix.com went on to explain:

"This would not be a surprise as Ecclestone is keen to make sure that the teams are not unanimous within the Formula One Teams' Association (FOTA) and having a financial interest in one of them is a good way to ensure that this happens.

It is believed that the majority of the money to run the team will be coming from Honda itself as it is cheaper to pay to keep the team alive than it is to lay off all the staff."

Go figure?

Luckily Olivier Panis did not show us 'lil Panis...

While the picture is funny due to the striped underwares, it is a sad picture overall. From the Canadian Grand Prix in 1997 when Olivier Panis crashed his Prost F1 car

While it doesn't look like a horrid crash (if you can find a clip of it on youtube) the poor guy ended up breaking both of his legs and showing the world what his underpants looked like that day.

An American F1 team?

I just read a curious story on yahoo.com's UK F1 site. The story claims that Peter Windsor who is a veteran F1 journalist who currently works with SpeedTV in the USA as their on-site personality at F1 races as well as formerly working as Team Manager for Ferrari and Williams back in the 80's and early 1990's has partnered with IndyCar technical and design guru Ken Anderson and are planning a Formula One team to be called "USF1" which would showcase American drivers and technology in Formula One. It is said the team may be based in Charlotte, North Carolina which is the heart of NASCAR country with a possible second location in Europe.

Apparently the idea was hatched at the 2008 Canadian GP and it is said that good old Bernie Ecclestone has no objections to the venture (which is always a good thing).

It has been noted that Ken Anderson may be one of the people interested in purchasing the Honda F1 team and was last attempting to purchase Honda's other cast-away team Super Aguri last year... so the guy is pretty serious about getting into F1, which is always a good sign. Coupled with the fact that the guy has a background in racing design (and not just being an ex-race driver like many failed team heads are) and is working with a great mind such as Peter Windsor whom I greatly respect has me quite giddy right now and I honestly do hope to see USF1 on the grid in 2010 or 2011. That would be fantastic! Hopefully this isn't a fluke. I'd like to see this project come to fruition!

And for today's F1 Puerile MS Paint pic:

What this picture of Frank Williams says to me...

While I am pretty sure Sir Frank has never actually strung the words "Eat-a-Dick" together, as he is a far too elegant and proper man... that is what this picture says to me. It is what I imagine him saying to somebody given his pose in the picture as well as the look of contempt on his face. This could have been taken shortly after BMW informed Sir Frank they would no longer be working with them?

Tom Pryce: A Welshman who drove like a Welshman!

I just read an interesting little bit on grandprix.com about a memorial being built to the dearly departed Welshman Tom Pryce who died in a horrific accident at the age of 27 during the 1977 South African Grand Prix. I remember the first time I saw the footage of Tom Pryce's death. It was rough.

Pryce hit a 19 year old track marshal running across the track at approximately 170mph, throwing the marshal high up into the air and more or less tearing the body apart in the mean time in a diagonal fashion in the torso area. It is seriously a foul foul site. The track marshal was carrying a big assed 40 pound fire extinguisher which hit Pryce in the helmet, pushing the helmet as a whole upwards and ultimately partially decapitating the poor Welshman.

The accident is so horrid that it had ended up on "Faces of Death" videos and crap like that over the years. I showed a friend the accident once on youtube (where you can see Tom Pryce & a track marshal die and Budd Dywer blow his fucking head off, but you can't see a bare titty) because he was curious and he told me upon seeing it "They showed that accident over and over and over again on a huge screen at a Slayer concert I was at back in the 1990's"

Never thought I'd be able to find a way for F1 and heavy metal to become friends.

Check out the Tom Pryce memorial thingy as well!

Why is Sir Jackie always pointing at Emo?!

For the past two years or so I have not been terribly good about harvesting current F1 photos during the season for some reason. I still blame it on Michael Schumacher, as ever since he left I'm just not as bat-shit about F1 as I used to be. I don't know why, since the past two seasons have been really great... Idol worship? I don't know? But there really aren't any living Gods in F1 currently. Give it time, sure, but as of now, just a bunch of kick ass youngins. Lewis Hamilton is well on his way, and while he has won my heart, he hasn't done enough yet to call him God... but I'm sure he will eventually.

Anyhow, with nothing better to do in the midnight hours I decided to go hunting for F1 photos from the past season or two and I curiously came across a photo from the Italian GP 2008 of Sir Jackie Stewart pointing his finger at Emerson Fittipaldi which has an amazing likeness to a photo from 35 years ago.

Stewart & Emo 1973:


Emo & Stewart 2008:


Why you always pointing at Fittipaldi, Sir Jackie???? Ya wee Scot bastard!

Formula Drugs

Pictured is former F1 Williams and McLaren driver Juan Pablo Montoya. As a native Colombian he naturally has a nose for sniffing out cocaine. I'm not insinuating JPM was or is a cocaine user, it was just an easy joke due to the picture and him being from Colombia and all...

Interestingly no Formula One driver has ever been busted for any kind of drugs, performance enhancing or recreational by random FIA drug testing. Tomas Enge tested positive for marijuana in 2002 after winning the F3000 championship, a year after he did 3 odd GP's with the Prost F1 team but other than that... nothing. The reason I decided to look into the matter was I was talking to somebody about good old James Hunt (F1 Champ 1976) the other day and that got me to thinking, as that dude liked to party. He was an alcoholic and openly enjoyed smoking a spliff as well as a bump of cocaine here and there. To calm his nerves before races it has been said by some that he would have a beer or two early in the day.

The only modern racer that comes close to Hunt-esque acts is Kimi Raikkonen, whom interestingly entered and won a snowmobile race in his native Finland under the assumed name "James Hunt". Räikkönen has openly admired the lifestyles of 1970s race car drivers such as Hunt.

Soon (in the next month or two) I will be unveiling my first new driver biography in a year or two, on the one and only James Hunt.

With that said, I will leave you with a vintage Hunt interview:

Classic!

Fifty Four More

I'm glad to see that the FIA is doing away with the horrendous closing of pit lane nonsense this coming season. That rule pissed me off so much. In theory, I understood the rationale, however, I did not like the penalization of cars that had to come in or else their race would be over due to lack of fuel, as calamity always seemed to strike during pit windows. I understand the threat of penalty was to dissuade cars from quickly leaping in to the pits to take advantage of whatever the current situation was. Even that never sat well with me. The closing of pit lane always seemed like a tampering of potential race results plain and simple. If a team were able to change strategy quickly due to unforeseen circumstances to benefit their cause, I say all the better. It never felt fair to restrict such things. I understand this whole rule was supposedly put in place to keep cars from "racing" back to the pits in haste under a safety car, thus keeping the track a safer place for all. Just why didn't the FIA think tank come up with the current 2009 rule sooner? It seems to make a mite more sense than just closing the pit lane for X amount of time. While I think I like the new configuration, I won't know until I see it put to use in actual race conditions, however Charlie Whiting seems to make sense when explaining how the new rule will work:

“The only difference is we intend to implement a minimum time back to the pits. When we deploy the safety car, the message will go to all the cars, which will then have a “safety car” mode on their ECUs. As soon as that message gets to the car, it’ll know where it is on the circuit, and it’ll calculate a minimum time for the driver to get back to the pits. The driver will have to respect this and the information will be displayed on his dashboard."

That seems to make a whole hell of a lot more sense than the old rule... whether this current rule sucks or not... just in theory the new rule sucks less than the old rule. However, instead of making the driver "respect" the information they are given, why not just make a limiter like the pit lane speed limiter button the drivers have. If the ECU can figure out where the car is on the track, and calculate the minimum time to get back to the pits why not just add one extra step and have the little fucker figure out the speed the car needs to go to get to the pits in the time the FIA would like the car to get there and voom. The driver doesn't have to worry about respecting anything other than the road ahead of him, there is no rushing to the pits... I mean why not just go all the way FIA?

Going back to the old rule one last time before it is forever put to bed: I always wondered why there wasn't a provision that if the teams could quickly provide proof to race control that there was no other option than to pit due to lack of fuel that a penalty would not have to be issued, especially to cars/teams that had nothing to do with the causing of the safety car to be deployed in the first place... as those F1 cars have so many damn sensors on them that I'm sure proof could have been provided quickly. Either way, that stupid old rule is gone so I need not muse on it any further.

Lastly... I have completed a new batch of doctored F1 photos for my famous "Formula One Paint" series of puerile humor:


More to follow in the coming days and weeks!

Cap in yo' ass!

While I have my doubts as to whether or not salary caps are ever going to become a reality in Formula One, I am all for it, so long as the caps aren't too low, as these drivers do deserve a filthy amount of money, just not an absurd amount. Can't cap it too low, or else they won't be able to pay for their superlicences!

One of the reasons I am for a cap is because I think it will honestly help the spectacle of the sport. While this may not make a load of sense right off the bat think about somebody like Ralf Schumacher. I think he had a $20 million retainer at Toyota and did nothing for the team other than enjoy their dollars. He no longer goes racing in F1 because he wasn't worth that kind of money. I can't remember exact figures but I think Truli was only being paid $3 million to $7 million. He still races for Toyota, even though he doesn't do too much either. He at least doesn't demand dumb amounts of money.

My point is, if there is a ceiling to salary's, the driver market will become much more competitive. I feel you would see more new drivers in the sport and less lifers who are around for no good reason other than to collect a fat pay check. New drivers could move up, while others moved out.

People would race harder to either secure their position or to prove they are worth more, which would thus make on track action more enjoyable... and now is the time, since supposedly these 2009 cars are stripped down enough to make passing feasible, I think a salary cap would make everybody that much hungrier to race their asses off as opposed to do just enough. The back of the grid could become fun once again.

Below are a list of guys that didn't need to be in Formula One even in 2008:

Barrichello has been around since 1993. I love & respect Rubens... but the curtain has closed. I don't care that M. Schumacher was his team mate for many years. Yeah, Ferrari gave team orders. We all know that, but I strongly doubt that even if they did not that Schumi would not have triumphed all the same. We probably won't be seeing him again.

Fischichella has been around since 1996. Turdsy has never done anything worth while. He won a race in 2003 due to not crashing. Won 2 additional races when with Renault, compared to his team mate's 14 during the same period. I don't care that his team mate was Fernando Alonso. They were driving the same car.

Trulli has been around since 1997. He won Monaco in 2004 and it was a well deserved win. Other than that, eh? Sure, I know he hasn't been in great cars, but the guy has never seemed to run well over entire race distances. He should retire and become a test driver because he does have speed, but usually only over the course of a few laps.

Heidfeld has been around since 2000. What has he done since then? Nothing, other than bring the beard back to F1, which is a noble pursuit, but has done nothing for his overall speed. Plus, he talks like a German Elmer Fudd. Suck it up. The Schumacher Brothers didn't speak like that. He's only been on the podium 11 times out of 150 starts. Go away. If he doesn't perform VERY well this year, he should be gone... and if he isn't then BMW is stupid.

Button has been around since 2000. I can't feel sorry for Button. He's been touted as the new British hope for so many years. Luckily for the British Lewis Hamilton came along and actually came thru on that promise. Button had one good year: 2004, where he finished top 3 ten different times and ended the season "best of the rest" behind Ferrari. Button would probably be racing this year had he just gone to Williams back in 2005, as Williams has sucked the past 4 years and he probably could have continued to hold a seat at Williams just due to the fact that Williams knew they weren't making that great of cars, thus just keeping the same drivers out of respect for their sub-par cars. It is a shame, as I have a feeling that Williams are going to have a very good car this year. We probably won't see Button this year. Maybe we will. I don't know, but if he never comes back to F1 again I won't really miss him.

Webber has been hanging about since 2002. I like Mark Webber a lot and I know he has been in shitty cars his whole career. But still. His first race, the 2002 season opener in his native Australia he finished 5'th for Minardi. That was his best finish until May of 2005. He has been on the podium twice. Maybe this season will prove different. If Webbo doesn't impress this year, I vote him out of the fraternity.

So let's cap some salaries? It won't hurt any body, and it might just do some good?

Whining bastards!

Up until a few years ago it cost like $5 to get your superlicence which is the licence one needs to go racing a Formula One car. Then last year Max Mosley decided to increase the cost by eight to ten times the cost of the previous year. People grumbled as it was a lump sum plus X amount of dollars per point you scored. The front runners were whining about the fact that Force India cars aren't going to have to pay nearly as much as Ferrari or McLaren drivers would. I get the point, it does seem a little lopsided... however I strongly doubt any of the front running whiners would prefer to give up their seat at Ferrari or McLaren, as well as their massive salaries, to go to a team that have cheap superlicences and no chance what so ever of winning races or finishing in the points.

Of course not. Just like poor people don't have to pay as much in taxes as the rich. Sure, yer paying a bit more... but would you rather trade all your riches just so you aren't in such a high tax bracket? No, of course not.

That was 2008. Now it is 2009 and apparently the cost for a superlicence has risen even higher than last year and people are seriously getting pissed. Once again, there are talks of strikes that will never materialize and general pissing and moaning about how broke the FIA is making everybody.

The FIA says the price hike is to keep up with safety standards and such... and we know how much safety our F1 friends demand. So as long as it doesn't come out that Mosley is hoarding this money and spending it on more nasty hookers, I don't see the problem.

Lastly, so long as there are no budget caps in F1 the superlicence system will be somewhat lopsided.

The FIA can't win. You ask for more money for safety purposes you get poo-poo'ed. In an effort to cut costs you limit the amount a team can spend for the services of a driver. You get yelled at.

What to do? What to do?

While I feel F1 drivers should be rewarded handsomely for what they do, they already are. A salary cap is not going to make anybody poor. I am all for a salary cap and a one price for all superlicence.

Bourdais!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it is not confirmed yet, but I have been reading what I have been hoping to read for months: which is that Sebastian Bourdais will be granted a second season in F1 via the semi-shitty Ferrari powered Toro Rosso. This is good news, as Bourdais deserves a second season in F1. If Red Bull kicked him out after losing Vettel to their main team they would be stupid assholes.

Seb Bourdais is a fucking 4 time Champ Car champion. Ok, so it is American open wheel racing and he raced with Newman-Haas team, but still, 4 successive championships is not an easy feat, American open wheel or not.

Ok, Bourdais had some trouble acclimating to the turdy TR car. Doesn't make him a bad driver and unless one finds another future champion/front runner such as young Vettel, Toro Rosso would be stupid to shitcan Bourdais. That guy can drive a fucking car and I respect him... and not just cos I hunted him down and got his autograph at the 2005 Cleveland GP of Champ Car. The guy can drive! I respect him a lot. Sure, he is a bit old, but he wouldn't have been given a chance if he wasn't solid... so let the old fuck race in a shitty team.

Let up. He'll do well, put him in a BMW and he'd challenge Kubica more than fucking Schtick Nick. Fuck that old has-been turd.

Leave Bourdais alone. He'll get the job done and make Buemi look like a bitch. Just watch.

You non-believing fuckers.

Watch. We got a lot of races in stripped down cars that are starting to be a lot like Bourdais' Champ Car rides.

Eat on a dick.

Just a note...

I just sent an email to Google which ended in "fuck you"

This means that this blog may be deleted because Google are a bunch of cocksuckers.

So be warned.

I hate Google.

But that is another story.

Seriously though, fuck Google.

I'm looking forward to this F1 season.

P.S. Fuck Google

Wonder

I just got a look at the new Ferrari F60 and it is a pretty car with out all the aerodynamic shit cluttering the vehicle up. It looks like a mean little red racing machine, though it would be nice from an aesthetic point if the front and rear wings were bigger... but if it helps make the racing more kick ass then I don't really give a toss.

With that said I got to thinking about old Kimi Raikkonen. He had a pretty weak year in 2008. Some say he lost motivation and all that. Maybe he did. Maybe the car didn't suite him. In my mind Kimi is a very raw racer and I sometimes wonder if the direction the car was built in somehow hindered his style. It was all so much about aerodynamics and little wing-dings all over the car, I just wonder if it all didn't suite his driving style. One of the main reasons I have a suspicion of this is because Felipe Massa had a much better season but I've never thought too much of his driving. He has never done anything that has made me say "Wow!"

Don't get me wrong, Massa is a solid racer, I just don't think he is all that great and I have a feeling the way the car was built suited him better because I don't think he is all that raw of a racer.

I could be completely wrong here. I don't know. What I do know is I am excited to see how these stripped down cars help racing and I expect to see the rawest talent rise to the top (in terms of impressing, if not winning races and such) while the more marginal drivers really show their mediocrity this coming season.

Innovate that whip!

Today Max "Hurt Me, Hurt Me" Mosley said "What is wrong with Formula One today was wrong before any of the present economic problems cropped up. Essentially it's the rules, which have become ever more restrictive compressing the work of the engineers into an ever smaller area. As such, success in F1 today consists of optimizing every single part of the chassis to the ultimate degree and that is both extremely expensive and utterly pointless."

OK. I get it. I agree completely. However, aren't you like the head rule maker of F1? While I don't know the inner-most workings of how rules in Formula One are decided upon it seems to me that the FIA president who is most visible in F1 compared to all the other forms of motor sport the FIA governs is the "Big Shit" or "Head Honcho" when it comes to telling the teams what they can and can not do.

If this is the case then I blame you, Max, for "the continual search for lighter, exotic materials that has created a mentality in F1 where the engineers are only comfortable in refinement, they don't do innovation. That is slowly destroying F1."

I know you've done a lot of good stuff concerning safety in the sport and you will always be looked upon kindly for pushing those much needed measures thru but I ask, is it not maybe you whom is slowly destroying F1?

Think about it.

"We've finally found a serious engineering challenge for the teams in KERS. Some manufacturers have risen to this challenge, one manufacturer has produced electric systems which will astonish people when they appear, another team is working on a completely new technology which will also astonish people. But some leading teams, such as Ferrari, have said that they don't like KERS because it is 'too complicated'. Could you imagine the great F1 engineers like Chapman or Duckworth saying "I can't do that because it is too complicated"? It is a symptom of a disease in F1 where incremental change becomes the whole object of the exercise and real serious innovation plays no part.

Max's main goal over the past few years has to cut costs in the sport and make F1 more environmentally relevant i.e. "green" yet he is the man that proposed KERS. How much money do you suppose the teams have spent in R&D? Do you really think the hippies that say F1 is harming the environment are going to be at all impressed with KERS (they should be, but they won't be).

So he talks about innovation and cutting costs and all I feel I see him doing is standardizing the sport to that of a lesser formula and finding new and "innovative" ways to spend money here that was saved there.

The guy is a smooth talking politician and he probably is going to continue running the FIA a la Putin does Russia once his current term is up.

Maybe one of his high class hookers will accidentally beat him to death?

Should have worn a helmet.

I'm tired of rice jokes...

So Honda quit F1. I have to agree with Bernie Ecclestone in that had Honda not set such lofty goals for themselves that they would probably still be in F1 but by telling themselves they shall win races and championships and then only scrounge together 14 points, finishing 9'th overall, on top of the lack of sponsorship it all makes sense.

As much as I love F1, I don't understand it. What were Honda doing right in 2004 that they could not replicate in future seasons? I mean Button got a shitload of podiums and finished third behind the Ferrari drivers while Honda themselves finished the season second in the constructors championship. Then again, the question could be posed what was everybody else doing wrong? I don't know. What I do know is that other teams got their shit together whilst Honda went on a downward spiral.

Overall I am not liking where F1 is going. I understand costs need to be cut and the economy through out the world is shitty but I do not appreciate how the change in trends is turning this sport into a less innovative series. Sure, it is placing more emphasis on the drivers, but there still needs to be the innovation. That is something that sets F1 apart from the rest. It is what makes it the best. The best cars coupled with the best drivers. Money helps all of this, yes, but we need not make the series lame. Next thing you know Mosley will want them to race only on ovals. That will be when I quit watching motor racing. I hate ovals.

If Bernie Ecclestone was smart, he would start releasing DVD's of old F1 seasons in full because the lamer current F1 gets the more hungry for vintage F1 long time fans will become. Maybe that is what this is all about. Bernie is about to start selling DVD's and knows how to drive up interest! Brilliant old sot!

Coming to you during the saftey car...

I bet that Massa is going to go kick Piquet in the dick after the race for crashing as that scurry for pits effectively cost Massa the championship.

Secondly, I deplore the opening and closing of pit lane during saftey cars. That is bullshit and I do not like it one bit because this happened during pit windows and cars that were to run out of gas needed fuel. These penalties alter the race in a negative fashion if you ask me, considering nobody asked Piquet to plant his car into the wall.

Lastly, Ferrari needs to get rid of those electronic lollipops considering those things have caused horrid problems multiple times this year. I bet the fuel rig guys for Ferrari are going to ask for a job reassignment at the end of the year.

What the hells was that?!?!?!

As always, Spa never lets me down. They should race there twice a year as the races are so damn good! Those last three laps almost made me lose control of any and all bodily functions I had to lose control of. I think I got off easy and just sneezed. But I almost shit.

I'm not sure how I feel about Hamilton's penalty. So much shit happened in those closing laps that I think they should just leave good enough alone. You can find fault with things Kimi did in those closing laps, and the FIA stewards have apparently found fault with things Hamilton did. So instead of penalizing Lewis, they should have just let him be because whether or not the penalty is overturned in the appeals process, any fan will never deny Hamilton's closing lap fury so in the end, neither should the FIA.

They speak of the "red rule" about Ferrari always being favored by the FIA but Kimi stands to benefit nothing from the race (other than Hamilton's points lost) and everybody knows that Massa did not deserve that win in any way shape or form. He is one of the most pathetic wet weather drivers out there. Sure, Felipe is ahead of Kimi in the championship and all, so this decision still does benefit Ferrari. However, if the FIA is putting the "red rule" into effect, which I'm not commenting on, you've got to exercise it in a believable way for Christ sakes!

My parting words are: Damn Lewis! and Fuck you Kimi. You little moody bitch.

Leave Kimi Alone!

I blame the small child. The little rapscallion went full bore right for Kimi's Ice Machine. Had he stopped he probably would have had to kiss the boo-boo and then get hounded by even more autograph seekers. He was probably late to the bar. So leave Kimi alone, and keep small children away from him when he is needing to get his drink on!



I guess you should also leave him alone before a race as well...



I like the way the camera man just sorta rolled and then got up and dusted his damp bottom off.

I'M ALL WET!

Ok... so I haven't posted shit in over two months but that is because I have been very busy. What I will say at this very moment is that I am in love with wet races! Today's race made my dick hard like Max Mosley's gets when he gets his bare ass pulverized by a dominatrix's crusty whip!

I'm pissed the race was on Fox though since they truencate the post race festivities and I would have loved to see Rubens Barrichello's post race interview considering he has not been on the podium since like 2005 or something and I wouldn't be surprised if his silly old Brazilian ass didn't shed a tear or something comical of the sort.