Saturday, October 29, 2011

This shit is going to sleep!

Until Sebastian Vettel stops making everybody else look like they lack talent this blog is taking a nap!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Come on, Lewis!

Lewis Hamilton needs to fucking get over the last race and Schumi not just rolling over like an old dog and letting him through, like entitled Lewis thinks should be the case.

He keeps talking about how in Malaysia he was not defending, but trying to break a tow and that is why he was wiggling and such.

All I can say is that if Schumacher had pulled the same shit on say... Jenson Button, Schumi would have been given some sort of reprimand but I'm pretty sure the stewards left him alone due to the fact it was funny that The Brown Possum get a taste of his own medicine.

He did not like it.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Monster Monza

Today's race was pleasant, and as always at Monza, seemed to go by way too quick! I quite enjoyed the penalty handed out to Liuzzi. That *must* have been some form of steward humor!

+While I will admit that Schumacher did a bit of artful blocking today, I found it amusing that The Brown Possum whined about it, considering it is not a foreign defense maneuver of his. I was glad though that Schumacher was warned to lay off and was not punished, as that would have been lame. Whilst McLaren mentioned that he was twice warned by the stewards via Brawn, what I would be curious to know is before Hamilton was ever penalized or warned publicly, had such "warnings" come to him the same way they had to Michael today?

+Not to take away from Vettel's brilliant race craft, but I can't wait for this year to be over and the blown diffusers to be banished and hopefully if Red Bull finds another way to obscurely bend the rules next year, instead of letting it go such as they did with these difusers, the FIA will tell them to eat a dick and all will be well. That car is too fucking fast. Red Bull came up with and developed it before everybody else. Once everybody else realized it was the way to go, they started dumping money and resources in to it. That's the only reason the FIA didn't flat out shitcan it like it intended to was it probably would have really slowed the Red Balls down a lot + the other teams had already wasted all that money because apparently it was not illegal. I'm not salty at Red Bull for exploiting this, I'm mad at the FIA for telling them not do continue to do so earlier than they did.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

My moustache is a form of rebellion!

I originally wrote this April 12'th, 2005 in my Live Journal. As LJ is a sadly, mostly dead "social network", I figured I should bring this silly little piece over to my F1 blog.

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Graham Hill was world champion in 1962 & 1968. The coolest thing about him was his mustache and his charm. Mr. Hill was by far the most dapper driver of the 60's with his Erroll Flynn mustache and Captain Kirk sideburns along with the finely tailored Italian suits. He was the only man ever to have won the Triple Crown: the World Championship, the Indianapolis 500 & da Le Mans 24 Hour race.

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 First we shall discuss his mustache. He didn't look right with out one. I saw a picture of him sans mustache, and the look just wasn't working. The reason he originally sprouted his roguish facial appendage was as a form of rebellion. While in the Royal Navy he felt horribly out of place and didn't like all the silly rules, so he grew a mustache and all hell broke loose. The navy didn't know what to do with him. In the end, they let him keep it because one of his officers agreed he just didn't look right with out it. In 1953 a friend let him tool around the Brands Hatch circuit in his Formula 3 car, and Hill quickly became obsessed with becoming a competitive driver. Oddly though, he didn't even have a road license, or a car... let alone a sports car. After a few months of scrimping and saving, he quit his day job, collected unemployment, and talked his way into a job as a mechanic at a racing school. By the end of his first year at the school he was actually teaching courses, even though he'd never raced competitively (makes you wonder about the credentials of this school, as they had no clue at the time he would one day be 2 time world champion) In 1957 he yet again talked his way into a place he wanted to be. This time he managed to smooth talk his way into a drive with the emergent Lotus team after hitching a ride back from Brands Hatch with founder Colin Chapman and his assistant. Each assumed Hill was a friend of the other; in truth, Hill knew neither of them. He was an opportunist, with the gift of bullshit and as such was usually able succeed once he had set his mind on something. Once Graham was in that car with Chapman and his assistant he just started kissing Chapman's ass, and referring to Chapman's assistant by name. Using his wit and easy going personality he then started hyping his ass up as a grand race driver and told Colin that if he knew what was good for him, he'd take him on as a driver to test the new Lotus machinery and eventually race it for him. Rumor has it that on this fateful car ride back into town that Colin Chapman was pretty drunk on champagne and Graham Hill's future was set as a racer when he busted out some wonder joints of Britain's finest skunk and got the Lotus founder super high. Hill raced a Lotus from 1958 till 1960, but the cars weren't quite up to snuff yet, so he left the team for BRM and in 1962 won the Championship using BRM's machinery. Sadly though, BRM suddenly lost form and by 1964 Hill was back in a Lotus, happily playing second fiddle to Jim Clark, the wondrous Scot who is considered in some circles the greatest F1 driver ever!


-Graham in his Gold Leaf Lotus in the late 60's 

 Being the #2 Lotus driver was quite fulfilling to Hill. He was already a champion. He really had nothing left to prove, so he was just enjoying himself racing, regularly on the podium. Usually only being beaten by his team mate, Clark. It was a pleasant life. Good machinery, good times, lotsa pussy yet still! In 1968 Graham suddenly found himself the Lotus Team #1 after Jimmy Clark's car slid off a track in Germany during a Formula Two race, and met up for lunch with a small tree which done went and killed him. Team morale was low, especially Colin Chapman's, the team founder and race principal. Chapman had a very close relationship with Clark. Luckily, there was Graham Hill there to save the day. First he started winning races for the team, which was a pick-me-up, but some say what really saved the team were his notorious after-race parties. The booze flowed like water, Hill kept everybody laughing. Either using his quick wit, or by doing his famous bump & grind strip-tease table dances while totally shitfaced. All the guys loved Graham's parties cos he brought the finest race rats to the events. Even though Hill was married, and had three childrens, he could not keep his dick in his pants and was known as quite a cocksman! So even if Graham took 3 girls back to his room, there was generally always enough good looking tail for the mechanics and fellow race drivers to get. Hill ended up winning the final race of the season that year Clark passed away, on a street circuit in Mexico City, which handed him the championship for 1968. Graham dedicated his prize to the memory of the late Jim Clark, who had died that April. Later that afternoon, in celebration of his second championship, while very well blitzed, he ran the streets of Mexico City that comprised the track, in his birthday suit, singing songs in Spanish tongue, scaring old Mexican women and young children alike. Sadly in 1969 Graham Hill's shit got all mucked up. While whopping some ass at the USGP at Watkins Glen in 1969 his car stalled following a spin, while leading the race. He easily solved this problem by jumping out of the car and giving it a push-start, and merrily went on his way. Though after he restarted the car, in his haste, he forgot to relatch his seatbelt. Towards the end of the race one of his tires exploded, pitched the car into an earth bank, and flung Hill out like a ragdoll. Graham crushed both of his knees. Totally decimated them. While this would have been a good time to quit, Hill didn't, and his racing suffered. He raced up until 1975. People still loved him though, even though he was way past his prime. He finally threw in the towel when he failed to qualify for the Monaco GP. The reason for this was he was KNOWN as Mr. Monaco, for having won the race 5 times, and now he couldn't even qualify for the starting grid. In 1973 he set up his own team, Embassy Hill Racing, and flew his team around in his small fleet of private jets, which he'd dubbed "Hillarious Airways" Hillarious Airways stopped being so funny when he crashed his plane into a patch of trees while trying to land in a dense fog. Both his racing drivers, and Hill himself were killed, along with some hanger-on-ers. What a way to end it all...

 
- Graham with his only son, Damon, who would go on to become World Champion in 1996. 

They Hills are the only Father/Son F1 Champions to date. Damon Hill followed in his father's footsteps in a haunting fashion. First, Damon took up car racing at a late age (as his father, who was 24 when he started. Damon was 32 when he graduated to F1), and was also the man that had to boost team morale in light of a great racers death (Ayrton Senna's death in 1994) Sadly, Damon was a much more serious character than his father, and the humor wasn't there. Nick Riley shares a similiar facial structure (and eyebrow) with Damon Hill See:
  Mr. Riley:


-Graham @ the Nurburgring sometime in the early 60's

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Turkey Sandwich

That's a pisser about Turkey. I understand "business is business" and all that nonsense, but that was the ONE modern track that was really awesome and the first Hermann Tilke designed track since Sepang that wasn't a total dog turd. Who cares if nobody was in the stands. A lot of people watch the race on TV and most of them are big fans of the track.

Bernie must feel the need to recoup lost funds after dropping $5 million on his "privileged" daughters wedding last weekend after earlier this year buying her the Spelling Manor for $85 million in cash...

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Spa 2011

As always, I was thrilled Spa was the race taking place.

+However, I was sad that Schumacher's tire decided to depart from the car and then attempt to chase Michael and the car down. That was a real bummer, especially when you saw what kind of race Schumacher ended up having. Right now that Mercedes isn't even a 5'th place car and Michael was able to get it up that high, after starting dead last. It is nice to know the old goat has still "got it". It is just such a shame that he's been having uncharacteristically bad luck this past two years.

+That was a kind gesture of Nico to give Michael 5'th place. I hope Schumacher took him out to dinner that night.

+I was also sad about Senna's dash to the first corner. I was quite happy that he was racing and getting a chance to prove himself a worthy race driver (or a rich kid of a legend) and he placed well and had a chance to really shine, so it was a bummer that he blew his wad like an overly excited teen and caused all that contact.

+When the Brown Possum crashed out and appeared all motionless I was quite worried. As much as I enjoy seeing Hamilton crash out of races due to stupid shit he does, I always like to see him get up and out of the car as well. I'm glad he was OK in the end though as I want to see him crash out of more races due to his sometimes silliness.

+I'm sick of Red Balls...

Overall though, a decent Spa race.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Nick is not so quick...

I'm sort of not a fan of Nick Heidfeld. I don't hate the guy or think he is a horrid race driver, but for years now I am always amazed that he is continually able to find drives in F1. When Kubica had his accident this winter I was kind of excited for Senna, as I wanted to see him in a decent car since I am still mildly skeptical of his ability and driving a decent enough black and gold "Lotus" Renault just like his old uncle did back in the day, seemed like a perfect opportunity for everybody. I couldn't quite understand why Renault insisted on having an experienced driver other then for car development due to the lack of in-season testing and maybe as some kind of progress marker for Petrov? On the flip side, I imagine Renault knows that their neither their car and/or their car with Heidfeld behind the wheel are good enough to win a race this year, so why not take some Brazillian money and see if Senna Jr. is any good. I strongly feel that Renault kind of wrote this season off the second they found out about Kubica so this really would have been a good year to develop potential talent such as Senna - as there is no way for him to test - Renault could have and should have done this the other way around, had Senna start the year and if he didn't perform up to their standards replace him with old Heidfeld - but doing it the other way around seems silly even to me for a variety of reasons legal and strategically.

Either way, I hope Senna is able to prove himself and I hope Heidfeld doesn't bitch, whine, or sue too much over this. The guy has been around in F1 for over 10 years and done almost 200 races. He's 34 years old and has never won a race. He should be thanking the heavens for the races he received this year as they were a gift more than anything else.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Schumacher & Sauber

"Michael, Heinz-Harald Frentzen and Karl Wendlinger were our junior team for Sauber Mercedes in the Sportscar World Championship.

"The plan then was that Sauber would enter F1 in 1993 together with Mercedes. So it was quite normal that we would have facilitated Michael's first race by paying Eddie Jordan the required sum of money."

Sauber says he only told Schumacher about what had happened at the 2006 Brazilian Grand Prix, which was supposed to be the German's final race in F1.

"He was clearly surprised when he discovered the full circumstances during his retirement race in 2006 in Brazil," said Sauber. "He thereafter sent me a helmet. I do not expect any more [gratitude]. Michael made his own way through his career by being fast."

Sauber believes that one of the keys to Schumacher's success in F1 has been his hard-working nature.

"Speed alone is not enough," he said. "Frentzen, for example, had an equal amount of talent, possibly a bit more. But Michael was a very hard worker, was very ambitious, mentally strong and physically always perfectly prepared. That is why it was noticeable from early on that he was a special talent."

I found the above statement by Peter Sauber to be very interesting. It comes from an article about how Sauber paid Eddie Jordan the 150K in UK pounds to let Schumi drive his first F1 race. What he said about Heinz-Harald Frentzen fascinated me, as The Shitty David Duchvony* was always a back-marker since I've been watching F1, so it was surprising to see that Peter Sauber, a man whom I respect, thinks HHF had MORE talent than old Schumacher.

While I find that hard to believe, I do agree with the statement as a whole about speed not being enough to get by on (yes, everybody is looking at you Kimi...)

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Monday, August 8, 2011

I hate summer break!

I sure would have liked if an F1 race happened yesterday.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Trulli Is Not a Happy Boy

Apparently Jarno Trulli is just one angry tiny Italian man this year and since he never has any thing positive or pleasant to say I have found it rather amusing that any time YahooF1 posts any stories about Jarno complaining about the power steering or his engine or Sergio Perez being a Mexican Yahoo will only use this one thumbnail picture of Trulli looking forlorn.

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This is pretty much the only picture I have seen of Trulli on YahooF1 this year. Maybe if he would say something nice they would start using this one, which is slightly brighter:

TLF

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Hungary For More Action!

+The Hungarian GP can even some how manage to be a tad bit boring in the wet! Now don't get me wrong, today's race was quite decent but there was a very solid lull there in the middle of the race for awhile. I actually nodded off for a few laps, luckily I missed nothing.

+How interesting it is that in only the second track that Button has twice conquered, the conditions were amazingly similar to those in which he clinched his maiden GP win back in 2006. I guess that is pretty cool considering it was also his 200'th race. I was really surprised when SpeedTV was doing a little career retrospective on Button and they said it was in 2003 that JB had that heavy shunt in practice at Monaco... That kinda made me feel old as I think that was the first season I watched religiously from start to finish, every practice, quali & race. I remember when Sergio Perez had his bizarrely similar crash to Button's this year at Monaco and they showed them both - I recalled being wowed JB's was from '03. I must have put it out of my mind though, considering I was once again wowed today by how long ago that was!

+While I'm glad Jenson won, I once again felt The Brown Possum's strife and felt he ran a solid race considering the adversity he faced making 6 stops or something outrageous, along with that spin and all.

+I swear I heard today was only the 2'nd time that the Hungarian GP was wet and/or damp, which makes it even more odd that these "rare" conditions had the same winner. I also think I heard that with something like 186 million pit stops, that this race officially had the most pit stops ever, taking the crown from another race that happened this year. What I would like to know, is what race previously held the record prior to the Pirelli era?

+Lastly - Two things I found humorous today was when Heidfeld's car burst in to flames, the manner in which he exited. Looks like the wet car almost caused him to slip. I am glad he and his beard did not eat shit and fall. That would have been really embarrassing. The other amusing thing I noted was when Massa kissed the wall with his rear wing there was a dude with a camera like right there but he was walking AWAY with his back turned to the happening, which was really odd cos it seemed like it was going on VERY close to him. Maybe he had ear plugs in... but I couldn't help but wondering why he didn't hear a small Formula 1 car sliding towards him and the tire barrier at a mildly decent speed.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Kamui Power!

+I was happied to read earlier today that Sauber resigned Kobayashi. Sauber is a good place for him and I can't wait until he is signed with a real contender. It seems like it will only be a matter of time, cos the guy is awesome! He was pullin' off ridiculously fine passes in his first races before they made magical wings. It will be a glorious day when he makes his way into a Renault or better!

+I've always been a fan of Jarno Trulli but I think it is time for him to move on to DTM or NASCAR and call a day on his F1 career. He's been whining too much and that is probably why Team Lotus let Chandhok drive, which is fine by me. While I really have no idea of the guy's ability considering he's always driven turds on wheels, I do think Karun is a nice guy with a few bucks, so why not give him a chance till someone better or richer comes along. It is not like Jarno is paying Team Lotus or bringing any fine results and he's driven close to 250 races...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Bad Home GP Luck & Random Thoughts

+I find it curious how some of the "Big Boys" in F1 often have bad luck at home GP's when they qualify good. Today for instance, was not Vettel's day amazingly, which is fine with me since he already has such a massive lead and all, though I *almost* felt bad for him. I would have rather had Fern or Webber win as opposed to The Brown Possum, but it was nice to see Hamilton's genuine appreciation for his race win.

+At the British GP I truly felt bad for Button. What a horrible and terribly uncharacteristic problem that befell him! Then again, I kinda felt bad for JB today too, but that is mainly because I have had a newfound respect for him since he won his championship a few years back after riding him so hard for years as being a waster. I imagine if he wasn't Lewis' team mate I wouldn't be wanting The Brown Possum to fail as much as I do at times. I think my beef with Hamilton is that he's a bit too cheeky and some times comes off as entitled on track for my liking as we already know that he is a brilliant driver and I think he's a stand up guy off track, so as a whole I appreciate LH but rarely find myself rooting for him during races.

+While I am a fan of Vettel, I hope the SpeedTV guys are right and that maybe Red Bull's performance drops off a bit like what happened to Button in his championship year. I've already accepted that Vettel & Red Bull are probably going to win the championship again this year, but I sure wouldn't mind seeing some more wins by Ferrari and McLaren and my unlikely dream win of the year would be to have Schumacher bring home Mercedes first win in a wet race in Brazil after starting 12'th or something. It would also be nice to see Massa win again as even though Ferrari say he's racing for them next year, I suspect it'll probably be his last with the Scuderia.